As you all know...

[Big_Spark]

I used to be a bit of a dick on occasion and defended my position a little too well, and only after calming down realised that I was wrong on occasion.

This was the main reason for not posting here for a while. It was getting stupid, silly arguments over nothing of any importance..it was starting to feel like a marriage!!

Well I put it down to being overtired for a very long time and the stress of a divorce that has taken 4 long years to finalise.

That stress is now behind me, and I have changed the way I work so that I get a good nights sleep everynight to prevent the return of the ratty me..I now am back to the old me of thinking before posting, and re-reading my posts before hitting the "Submit" button..I am sure many have noticed the different style to my recent posts..LONG may it remain this way.

To any member I have fallen out with over stupid things..I apologise, to all other mebers here who I am sure got fed up with the infantile comments, I also apologise for my part in those arguments..

Now lets have a good laugh and some good discussion..

In the meantime I hope life has been treating you all well.

Jim

 

[Moz]

WELCOME .......................


We Need Good Guys Here Again ..

can you round up any more Goodfellas ... ?

Welcome Back ...





your not freddy are you ?

 

[breezer]

i did wonder, welcome back. in the mean time ban-all-sheds has left the building (er forum)

 

[securespark]

Wrong, you, Jim? Nah, fella, everyone else was wrong!!

Don't worry about it!

Let the good times roll.....

 

[Diyisfun]

To any member I have fallen out with over stupid things..I apologise, to all other mebers here who I am sure got fed up with the infantile comments, I also apologise for my part in those arguments..

Now lets have a good laugh and some good discussion..

In the meantime I hope life has been treating you all well.

Jim

Brave words

 

[WoodYouLike]

Well I put it down to being overtired for a very long time and the stress of a divorce that has taken 4 long years to finalise.

Sounds like you had a 'burn-out'. Not something you wish anyone (speaking from experience). You get grumpy and lash-out for no (known) reason at all. It can take a while before you notice that those things are related, once you do you're have way there (took me 6 months off work, being burned-out, not a pleasant time, not for me and not for anybody around me )

 

[Big_Spark]

WYL, I think your probably right in your assessment. What made me realise I had a real problem, apart from the childish temper that showed it's face all too regularly, was after I was driven off the motorway by a Police truck driver and had time off work.

I was unable to work for 9 weeks due to injuries and this meant that I got a decent nights kip, it didn't take long for me to figure out that the temper and erassability had diminished significantly.

I then talk to a group of really good friends, as I knew they would be totally honest with me, and it was soon apparent that I was probably not far from a nervous breakdown and that the accident was likely a blessing in disguise. I feel a lot better, physical health is 500% better and now I tend to laugh things off rather than react.

I have had a very long converstaion with an ex girlfriend, she's a forensic psychologist in Canada, and now I can spot the warning signs so I can short circuit the temper before it kicks in. Caroline reckons it will likely take a long while to get to a point where I don't have to actually think about it, but I am a long way down that road now.

I only wish I had seen it earlier, I don't care too much about looking a **** to others, but it does bother me if I upset or annoy others..especially people I know..but I do genuinly think I am now much stronger as a result.

 

[WoodYouLike]

Caroline reckons it will likely take a long while to get to a point where I don't have to actually think about it, but I am a long way down that road now.

I only wish I had seen it earlier, I don't care too much about looking a **** to others, but it does bother me if I upset or annoy others..especially people I know..but I do genuinly think I am now much stronger as a result.

It does take a while before 'you are better', but in the end you'll be a damn good experience (lesson of life) richer.

And talking to good, honest friends does make you realise somethings had been up, has been wrong. I had the same, everybody 'complaint' about my changed attitude: where they normally could ask me for help/assistance etc (especially friend from work) I'd become grumpy and unwilling to do anything else than my 'job'. I wasn't my 'old-self' any more they told me and they didn't like the change.

They all loved me again when I came back

 

[Big_Spark]

I think friends are certainly the key, and true friends who are their for regardless. A couple of mine have some serious "issues" themselves due to experiences in their lives, but they have been there for me without question..I suppose partly because despite everything I was going through they knew I would be there for them too..

Glad you have moved past your difficult period..it does make one a little more understanding of others when they seem to develope errant behaviour..but you cannot help them if they do not want to help themselves, that is crucial..

 

[masona]

Big_Spark, nice see you back, you're not alone if we are all honest about it, I can't help thinking what makes us stressed up, the rat race? the way of life? the doom & gloom of the world? bread & butter on the table?

I have also now have been told to de-stress myself because years of shift work and high level of stress with my job pressure. I didn't know that I had stress until someone pointed it out to me. Last week I was diagnosed a rare medical condition & I will have to give up my job, I generally believe stress didn’t help, stress is the biggest killer and mostly is illness related. I'm always calm and never get uptight and yet I was stressed!

Give me a low paid stress free job in any hot climate, make you wonder who got it right sometime.

 

[Big_Spark]

Masona, sorry to hear about your medical problems, great shame that...never happens to the like of Bush and Bliar!!

Making sure you get a GOOD night's sleepis imperetive, I have learnt that the hard way..shift patterns play havoc with your life and the stress it causes is insidious as you never see it coming, I have seen this with people I have known over the years who work in maintenance.

Hosesty with yourself is the most difficult, but you need to be.

Personally I have bought all the Medal of Honour games and if I feel myself getting stressed and cannot short it out..I shoot a few nasties in a game..10 mins later I'm bored with the game and I'm fine..destressed and happy again..works great!!