Best (real) headlines of 2006 - seen this before?

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THE YEAR'S BEST (actual) HEADLINES OF 2006


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really?]


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[That'll stop 'em.]





Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]




Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!!]




Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!]



Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]




War Dims Hope for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]



If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

[You think?]



Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

[Who would have thought!]


Enfield Couple Slain ; Police Suspect Homicide

[They may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !

[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

[He probably IS the battery charge!]




New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

[Weren't they fat enough?!]


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]



Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]




Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]




And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 
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