CAUGHT WITH MY PANTS DOWN.

[BOB D.O.L.E]

I was having a nap parked in my van while i was waiting for a tenant to come home has they whare stuck in a trafic jam for an hour, anyway my phone rang and woke me up and this dood said can i speek to the manager please i said yes speaking, he says i just want to report one of your employers has he is fast asleep in your works van.
I said thanks for informing me can you still see him asleep, he says i wont be a minuite i will just go to the window and take a look, meanwhile i dropped me kecks and moon shined him what a wa,,,cker.

 

[Softus]

You brighten my day Bob.

 

[BoxBasher]

Two of our night lads (long since gone) were parked up having a bit of kip in the transit.
Tap on the window wakes them up, window gets wound down and the conversation goes along the lines of
#1 "what are you doing?"
#2 "sleeping, what does it f*ckin' look like?"
#1 "do you know who I am?"
#2 to mate "there's some pr*ck out here just woke us up, doesn't know who he is!"

Turns out he was the new territory manager.


Little old lady knocked on our window whilst we were tucking into dinner once.

She smiled and said "Hello, I don't want to disturb you on your lunch hour..."

Didn't get to hear the rest of what she was going to say because my mate said "good" and wound the window back up.

 

[solo]

So that was your a**e. I thought you were flashing me a great big toothless grin.

 

[wonderb0y]

quality, some people really have too many free minutes

 

[Daz66]

I was once driving through Richmond in the works van and tooted an idiot who pulled out in front of me on a roundabout (give way to traffic on the right, highway code booky thing) just missed taking the side off his car

I followed him down the road a while and pulled up beside him at another roundabout, he had a passenger in the back with the window down so I said it would probably be best to get out and walk as the guy driving was not too hot on observation. NO swearing or shouting just a jokey comment to someone in the back.

Anyway about an hour or so later back at the factory I get a call from some guy who has been rammed off the road by our van driver who was shouting and swearing and making rude gestures, basically him and his passengers where in fear of their lives for about 3 mile as the van driver harassed them driving through Richmond.

I dutlfully listened to his diatribe and when he finished asked him what he wanted me to do about it, he said I should sack the driver and report him to the police because he was a menace to society.

I informed him politely that I would take the matter very seriously and asked for his contact details and those of his passengers, he started um' ing and er'ing about this at this point I said that if I sacked the van driver it would be unfair as he had already told me about the incident and the two versions differed widely, he said that the driver was telling lies and I should believe him.

I then dropped the bombshell that I was the driver and he was telling a complete pack of lies...................................................he put down the phone..................

 

[noseall]

working next door to a hairdressers a while back.

woman leaves the shop, looking prim, not a hair out of place, lovely purple rinse.

me mate shouts, 'whats up love, couldn't they fit you in'.



going through a town, dawdling in traffic, come to a stop on a river bridge.

bloke looking down at the water minding his own business, same bloke winds down the van window, 'don't do it mate, yer not that ugly'.

 

[empip]

Old ET Hunter would sort that lot out for Bobby D...

 

[Moz]

bob
could of been a lot worse..... you could be just finishing off er ...reading the Daily Sport.....lol..lol

Daz66
dont tell fibs here lad , everyone can read that as YOU were a road rage nutter ..lol

noseall

the common name for this activity in workmen circles is
"crusing for laffs "
when a driver an mate will beep an toot at the fit young ladies, then wave both fists up an cheer as if you scored at Wembley , an pass forward witty sexual comments/waheyy noises/wolfwhistles an such like ...

my fav was , "Hellooooooooo Gorgeous ....are you a single mum ?
do you want to be one ..?" lol lol

of course its more entertaining when you say these to the posher looking birds ,
we used to drive thru Deansgate in town at rush hour just to have a craic /laff with the ladies ....
btw we never received complaints ...maybe it was our good looks an cheeky charm ..lol..lol...lol

nowadays mind you we would get locked up for life for being un pc ..lol .....lol

 

[Softus]

quality, some people really have too many free minutes

Come off it wonderb0y - it's only a bit of banter in the GD forum.

 

[Moz]

Softus
I think he was referring to *the real world general public* on this topic complaining an not the lurkers here ..lol

 

[gcol]

my fav was , "Hellooooooooo Gorgeous ....are you a single mum ? do you want to be one ..?" lol lol

 

[Big_Spock]

Old ET Hunter would sort that lot out for Bobby D...

My ears are burning!

 

[Tim 77]

I had some idiot try to overtake me once, going into oncomiong traffic, I didn't notice him until he tried to force me into the curb in an attempt to get in front of me, he had his wife and kids in the car with him, he then had the cheek to ring up and complain about my driving!! Thankfully it's my mate's wife on the switchboard at our place so she just listened to him rant and rave and said she'd sort it!!

 

[Softus]

Presumably you were driving a white van?