Early morning ...

[empip]

Morning sex
She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought,"This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; Right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said,"Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"



She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

 

[TeMac]

my nephew came up to me and asked "is sex dirty"....i replied "only when its done right"

 

[bernardgreen]

The groom asked vicar if he objected to sex before marriage.


"No objection at all" said the vicar "as long as you have a shower before coming to the church"

 

[megawatt]

Sex between 2 loving, caring people is a wonderful thing ... Between 4 it's firking fantastic

 

[empip]

"Y'know" said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home in
Glasgow....there's a little bar called McTavish's. Now the landlord there
goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks he
will buy the 5th drink for you."

"Well", said the Englishman, "at my local, the Plough Inn, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhhhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a
drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!!!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn the Irishman's claims. But he swears every word is true.

"Well," said the Englishman "did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me meself, personally, no," said the Irishman


"But it did happen to me sister."