Q: Do you know how an electrician tells if he's working with AC or DC power?
A: If it's AC, his teeth chatter when he grabs the conductors. If it's DC, they just clamp together.
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Q: What did the light bulb say to the generator?
A: "I really get a charge out of you!"
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What Thomas Edison's Mother might have said to her son:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
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Sign on on the side of the electrician’s van – “Let Us Get Rid of Your Shorts”.
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At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
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Q: What is an electrician's favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Shock-o-lot!
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Q: What do you call a carpenter working in a electrical panel?
A: Dead!
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Q: How do you know when a union electrician is dead?
A: The doughnut rolls out of his hand.
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Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."
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Q: Why are electricians always up to date?
A: Because they are "Current specialists".
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Q: How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
A: It's got no spark!
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Q: What would you call a power failure?
A: A current event.
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A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair.
The chemist was brought forward first. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in. "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
>Then the biologist was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" "No, just get on with it." The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner. "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."
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After an electrician finished repairing some faulty wiring in an attorney's home he handed him the the bill.
''Four hundred dollars! For an hour's work?'' cried the attorney, ''That's ridiculous! Why I'm an attorney and I don't charge that much.''
To which the electrician replied, ''Funny, when I was an attorney I didn't either!''
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Q: What kind of car does an electrician drive?
A: A Volts-wagon.
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Q: What's grey, crispy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: An amateur electrician.
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Q: Why did the lights go out?
A: Because they liked each other!
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OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hertz.
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A man with a hearing problem walked into a power plant for a tour. He arrived late and had to join the rest of the group already on the tour. The man was reviewing what he had just told the group. He told the group that they wouldn't move on until they answered this one question: What is the unit of power equal to one joule per second called?" The man with the hearing problem hadn't heard the question very well, so he raised his hand and asked "What?" (Note: What = Watt, for those who are not electricians)
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Q: What would a barefooted man get if he steps on an electric wire?
A: A pair of shocks.
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Q: What did Godzilla say when he ate the nuclear power plant?
A: "Shocking!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the foolish gardener?
He planted a light bulb and thought he would get a power plant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Ohm is a Hindu voltage measurement. Ohmmmmm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a worm that chews up electric wires?
A: Electro-magnots.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why was the free electron so sad?
A: It had nothing to be positive about!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why do fluorescent lights hum?
A. Because they can't remember the words.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy met his friend walking down the street with a whole sack of burnt out light bulbs. He asked him what he was going to do with all those useless bulbs. His friend replied, "I'm going to build a dark room".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did the baby light bulb say to the mommy light bulb?
A. "I love you watts and watts!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says. "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a battery?
A: A battery has a positive side.
A: If it's AC, his teeth chatter when he grabs the conductors. If it's DC, they just clamp together.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did the light bulb say to the generator?
A: "I really get a charge out of you!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What Thomas Edison's Mother might have said to her son:
"Of course I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sign on on the side of the electrician’s van – “Let Us Get Rid of Your Shorts”.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At the electric company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is an electrician's favorite ice cream flavor?
A: Shock-o-lot!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a carpenter working in a electrical panel?
A: Dead!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know when a union electrician is dead?
A: The doughnut rolls out of his hand.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh no - I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why are electricians always up to date?
A: Because they are "Current specialists".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones?
A: It's got no spark!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What would you call a power failure?
A: A current event.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A chemist, a biologist and an electrical engineer were on death row waiting to go in the electric chair.
The chemist was brought forward first. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner, strapping him in. "No," replied the chemist. The executioner flicked the switch and nothing happened. Under this particular State's law, if an execution attempt fails, the prisoner is to be released, so the chemist was released.
>Then the biologist was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" "No, just get on with it." The executioner flicked the switch, and again nothing happened, so the biologist was released.
Then the electrical engineer was brought forward. "Do you have anything you want to say?" asked the executioner. "Yes," replied the engineer. "If you swap the red and the blue wires over, you might make this thing work."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After an electrician finished repairing some faulty wiring in an attorney's home he handed him the the bill.
''Four hundred dollars! For an hour's work?'' cried the attorney, ''That's ridiculous! Why I'm an attorney and I don't charge that much.''
To which the electrician replied, ''Funny, when I was an attorney I didn't either!''
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What kind of car does an electrician drive?
A: A Volts-wagon.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's grey, crispy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: An amateur electrician.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the lights go out?
A: Because they liked each other!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hertz.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man with a hearing problem walked into a power plant for a tour. He arrived late and had to join the rest of the group already on the tour. The man was reviewing what he had just told the group. He told the group that they wouldn't move on until they answered this one question: What is the unit of power equal to one joule per second called?" The man with the hearing problem hadn't heard the question very well, so he raised his hand and asked "What?" (Note: What = Watt, for those who are not electricians)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What would a barefooted man get if he steps on an electric wire?
A: A pair of shocks.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What did Godzilla say when he ate the nuclear power plant?
A: "Shocking!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear about the foolish gardener?
He planted a light bulb and thought he would get a power plant.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An Ohm is a Hindu voltage measurement. Ohmmmmm
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call a worm that chews up electric wires?
A: Electro-magnots.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why was the free electron so sad?
A: It had nothing to be positive about!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. Why do fluorescent lights hum?
A. Because they can't remember the words.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy met his friend walking down the street with a whole sack of burnt out light bulbs. He asked him what he was going to do with all those useless bulbs. His friend replied, "I'm going to build a dark room".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What did the baby light bulb say to the mommy light bulb?
A. "I love you watts and watts!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
A: She says. "Daddy, I need a new apartment!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between a woman and a battery?
A: A battery has a positive side.
