- Joined
- 24 Sep 2005
- Messages
- 6,345
- Reaction score
- 269
- Country
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
and heat it.
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual..."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna aircraft crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far, and expect that number to increase as digging continues into the night.
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So
that was nice."
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
A guy walks into the psychiatrist office wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
and heat it.
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
'Is it common?'
"It's not unusual..."
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round."
The other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"
Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna aircraft crashed into a cemetery.
Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far, and expect that number to increase as digging continues into the night.
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' So
that was nice."
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?"
I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it."
A guy walks into the psychiatrist office wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
