B
breezer
heard on tv:
my aunt was a lolly pop lady, by that i mean she was thin and had a sticky round head
my aunt was a lolly pop lady, by that i mean she was thin and had a sticky round head
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- 11 Jan 2004
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Yes!
How about this from the Paul O'Grady sit-com?
"I've read some Dickens"
"Which one?"
"Charles!"
Or this from Airplane: [talking about a flight]
"Nervous?"
"Yes"
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times!"
How about this from the Paul O'Grady sit-com?
"I've read some Dickens"
"Which one?"
"Charles!"
Or this from Airplane: [talking about a flight]
"Nervous?"
"Yes"
"First time?"
"No, I've been nervous lots of times!"
- Joined
- 28 Nov 2003
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They're taking him to the hospital.
What is it?
It's a large building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Top Secret, was my fav!
What is it?
It's a large building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Top Secret, was my fav!
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- Reaction score
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Two cows in a field.
One cow said to the other 'Mooo'
The other cow replied 'I was gonna say that!'
One cow said to the other 'Mooo'
The other cow replied 'I was gonna say that!'
- Joined
- 11 Jan 2004
- Messages
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- Reaction score
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- Country
How about another fun round of "quote the punchline and work out the joke from it"?
You know who that is? It's Thora Hird, you know!
PS oooooo - a cow without lips?
You know who that is? It's Thora Hird, you know!
PS oooooo - a cow without lips?
pipme said:A sort of punch line :-
.............The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become a mechanic.
He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if there had been an error which needed adjusting."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."
The instructor went on to say, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler."
p
Tax-man
The Tax Officer sends their auditor to a synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the rabbi and
says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes" answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd go on, in
his obnoxious way...... "Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases?
What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the
crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a whole box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi,"he went on," what do you do with all the 4skins from
the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is
save up all the 4skins, and when we have enough we actually send them
to The Tax Office,and about once a year they send us a complete d ick
like you."
P
The Tax Officer sends their auditor to a synagogue.
The auditor is doing all the checks and then turns to the rabbi and
says, "I noticed that you buy a lot of candles."
"Yes" answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually save them up and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle maker and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor somewhat disappointed that his unusual
question actually had a practical answer. So he thought he'd go on, in
his obnoxious way...... "Rabbi, what about all these matzo purchases?
What do you do with the crumbs from the matzo?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the
crumbs from the matzo and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to the manufacturer and every now and then, they send a whole box of matzo balls."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how to fluster the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi,"he went on," what do you do with all the 4skins from
the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is
save up all the 4skins, and when we have enough we actually send them
to The Tax Office,and about once a year they send us a complete d ick
like you."
P
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