I was so traumatised

[Deleted member 294929]

I was so traumatised I nearly walked off the job. Then I remembered he owed me over £700s

 

[Deleted member 221031]

Just an old kids toy

 

[crystal ball]

Worked in a house fitting a shower, cable run through bedroom, inflatable doll on the bed

 

[Fred Blogs]

Never had one as a kid neither did my kids when they young but when the hoohahh started about them I went out and bought one. Still got it somewhere.

 

[Deleted member 294929]

My mate then tells me that he has one.

I nearly melted at that point

 

[HERTS P&D]

I walked into a basement flat where the guy who opened the door was a 6'4" dressed in black with a coffin standing upright in the corner of the hall.

Andy

 

[Brigadier]

Best I ever saw, was a council house in Leeds.

Knock door, explain what you're there for (surveying property prior to refurb), then they either let you in, or don't.

Bloke lets me (and my colleague) in, and we carry on.
As was my routine, I checked the upstairs first, then worked down.

As I went to enter the lounge, the tenant was sitting on the sofa, back towards me with a catalogue open on the coffee table in front of him, and thrashing away with his right hand...

Mid-afternoon J Arthur, I thought (when you've surveyed a few hundred social houses, little is beyond what would previously have shocked you)

......only for him to then raise said right hand up, stick his asthma inhaler in his gob, and take a lungful of medicine



Which was a relief

 

[Deleted member 294929]

I once worked for a ‍ Witch.

The house was just off Clapham Common all painted black (lastime I see the house it was grey)

An American lady who was a bit eccentric, she dressed like a witch with long black hair and she had a black cat. The was a cauldron in the kitchen and a room she wouldn't let us in.

Apart from that she was like any other attractive young wealthy American lady.

 

[Ihavenojob]

Never saw, but heard. Retrofitting safety kits to Ideal boilers and called to a house in Beckenham. rang bell and waited for a while, then a youngish fellow opened the door. I sensed he was annoyed by the way he asked what I wanted. Told him why I was there, he showed me the boiler then buggered off. Took about 20 minutes to do the job, called out, no answer. No sign downstairs so went upstairs and called again. All I heard was "ahh ahh ahhh aaaaaahhhh yes yes yeeeeeessss!. So I filled in the paperwork and let myself out.

 

[crystal ball]

I once worked for a ‍ Witch.

The house was just off Clapham Common all painted black (lastime I see the house it was grey)

An American lady who was a bit eccentric, she dressed like a witch with long black hair and she had a black cat. The was a cauldron in the kitchen and a room she wouldn't let us in.

Apart from that she was like any other attractive young wealthy American lady.

Went to a job in a detached house at the southern end of Windermere ££££, lady answered the door dressed like Morticia Addams, huge portrait of her in the hall, sitting on a massive wicker chair, next to a suit of (plastic) armour

 

[Exedon]

Changing the bath at a rented property door was answered by a guy wearing nothing but a thong and yellow marigolds.
His toe nails were curled over and jet black (and I don't mean painted)