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In 1968 Leonid Brezhnev is planning a visit to Poland and wants to present a gift to the General Secretary. He gathers together his advisors.
“Comrades” he says, “In 1 month I will travel to Poland. I wish to present a gift to the General Secretary. This gift must be something that will symbolise the strong friendship between the Soviet Union and the Polish People’s Republic.”
His advisors all know this is b*llocks as Poland is basically just a subordinate state to the USSR, but they wisely say nothing. Various suggestions of gifts are rejected by Brezhnev until one young advisor speaks up.
“Comrade Brezhnev”, she says, “Why not commission a painting? Something which, as you say, symbolises the strong friendship between the Soviet Union and the Polish People’s Republic?”
Brezhnev is delighted. “Fantastic!” He cries. “I will commission a painting of Lenin in Poland! Make it happen!”
The young advisor knows that this is b*llocks, as Lenin died in 1924, years before Poland became Communist, but she wisely says nothing.
Instead, she sets out to find a painter who is up to the task. She eventually settles for old Oleg Petrov, a controversial artist known for his somewhat anti-Soviet tendencies. She visits him in his home, and promises that if he pulls this one off, the Great Soviet Union might be prepared to overlook all his transgressions. Petrov reluctantly agrees, and says it will take him ten days.
Ten days later, Petrov is driven to the Kremlin, and paraded, under armed guard, before an expectant Comrade Brezhnev and his advisors. He places the painting, covered by a dust sheet, on an easel in the corner of the room and stares expectantly at Brezhnev.
“Well? Get on with it!” snaps Brezhnev, and with a nod, Petrov removes the dust sheet, revealing a painting of Nadezhda Krupskaya, Lenin’s wife, lying naked in bed with the disgraced Leon Trotsky.
Brezhnev goes ballistic! “What the F*CK is THIS??” he roars! “That’s Nasezhda Krupskaya, Lenin’s wife” says Petrov. “Yes, I know who the f*ck she is!” says Brezhnev, rapidly losing patience. “But why the f*ck is she in bed with that degenerate Trotsky? WHERE THE F*CK IS LENIN?”
“Lenin’s in Poland.” says Petrov.
“Comrades” he says, “In 1 month I will travel to Poland. I wish to present a gift to the General Secretary. This gift must be something that will symbolise the strong friendship between the Soviet Union and the Polish People’s Republic.”
His advisors all know this is b*llocks as Poland is basically just a subordinate state to the USSR, but they wisely say nothing. Various suggestions of gifts are rejected by Brezhnev until one young advisor speaks up.
“Comrade Brezhnev”, she says, “Why not commission a painting? Something which, as you say, symbolises the strong friendship between the Soviet Union and the Polish People’s Republic?”
Brezhnev is delighted. “Fantastic!” He cries. “I will commission a painting of Lenin in Poland! Make it happen!”
The young advisor knows that this is b*llocks, as Lenin died in 1924, years before Poland became Communist, but she wisely says nothing.
Instead, she sets out to find a painter who is up to the task. She eventually settles for old Oleg Petrov, a controversial artist known for his somewhat anti-Soviet tendencies. She visits him in his home, and promises that if he pulls this one off, the Great Soviet Union might be prepared to overlook all his transgressions. Petrov reluctantly agrees, and says it will take him ten days.
Ten days later, Petrov is driven to the Kremlin, and paraded, under armed guard, before an expectant Comrade Brezhnev and his advisors. He places the painting, covered by a dust sheet, on an easel in the corner of the room and stares expectantly at Brezhnev.
“Well? Get on with it!” snaps Brezhnev, and with a nod, Petrov removes the dust sheet, revealing a painting of Nadezhda Krupskaya, Lenin’s wife, lying naked in bed with the disgraced Leon Trotsky.
Brezhnev goes ballistic! “What the F*CK is THIS??” he roars! “That’s Nasezhda Krupskaya, Lenin’s wife” says Petrov. “Yes, I know who the f*ck she is!” says Brezhnev, rapidly losing patience. “But why the f*ck is she in bed with that degenerate Trotsky? WHERE THE F*CK IS LENIN?”
“Lenin’s in Poland.” says Petrov.
