Man's Guide to Successful Barbecuing

[Gary_M]

1. The woman buys the food.

2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces and brings them to the table.

9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

10. Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....



.

 

[toffee]

that is so right!!!

 

[Fratton sPark]

Mans Barbecue? Plates, napkins, salad? Surley not!
Meat, meat, meat, gallon of petrol, and 2 gallons of beer (each.) Blaring music to p*** the neighbours off (who aint been invited) hosepipe fight, real fight (between 2 of your mates who cant stand each other), Someone throwing up down the bottom of the garden. And round the evening off by hugging all your mates and telling them in a slurred voice " I bloody love you, mate"

Or is that just me. No wonder I dont get invited anymore

 

[ninebob]

Mans Barbecue? Plates, napkins, salad? Surley not!
Meat, meat, meat, gallon of petrol, and 2 gallons of beer (each.) Blaring music to p*** the neighbours off (who aint been invited) hosepipe fight, real fight (between 2 of your mates who cant stand each other), Someone throwing up down the bottom of the garden. And round the evening off by hugging all your mates and telling them in a slurred voice " I b****y love you, mate"

Or is that just me. No wonder I dont get invited anymore

Nope, not just you! In fact, it's uncanny - one of the barbecues I went to last summer had all of the above, and in addition I seem to remember someone getting pushed around in a shopping trolley until it hit a wall and he fell out! And when the beer ran out, we all went back to the pub!

 

[Fratton sPark]

Ninebob, the drunken delights of pushing people round in shopping trolleys, huh? I find it works at its best when pusher, or pushee, or ideally both, are wearing traffic cones on their heads.

 

[ban-all-sheds]

gallon of petrol

Amateur....



http://www.doeblitz.net/ghg/

 

[Fratton sPark]

Ban, where the hell do you find these sites. And MUCH MUCH more importantly, where the hell do I get 3 gallons of liquid oxygen. I can see my BBQs are suddenly gonna get a whole lot more interesting

 

[gasmarkone]

I went to a barbie once. One Sunday evening. Call out. The family had a lovely barbie & fire going at lunch time [ that's 1 o clock down here]. Neighbour went and knocked them up at 10pm cos the fire was still going. Turns out the fire had been built on some excavated ground where the plastic gas pipe was just under the surface. Was going quite well when I got there! Still, double time on Sunday, called the crew out and waited. Loads of money.

 

[JohnD]

1. The woman .....

Where can I get one of these women? Are they available mail-order from Moray?