Non-return valve

[AdamW]

Last night I had a couple of drinks to celebrate two friends' birthdays... I had planned to have a few cokes and drive home, but beer pressure is a terrible thing and taxis are so plentiful.

This morning as I lay very still, clutching my stomach and sweating profusely, I got to thinking: Wouldn't it be great if you could have a non-return valve fitted to your stomach?

You see, I hate being sick. I don't mind having an upset stomach, skipping off to the bog is no problem for me because you don't have to taste that. But I think being sick is awful. I've always thought I would be rubbish at having bulemia. Nothing tastes as good the second time.

Now, obviously you would have to have an emergency override for the odd occasion you accidentally drank some bleach or brake fluid and need to "induce vomiting". But surely in this day and age, where we can spend more time recovering and won't need to run away from a sabre-toothed tiger, we can do without the vomit reaction?

N.B. You'll be glad to hear that I managed to lie still enough until about 6pm, that I wasn't sick.

 

[kendor]

ah but then you wouldn't have the "never again" thought pop into your head stopping you from ever doing it again

 

[johnny_t]

Nothing tastes as good the second time.
:

I beg to differ.....

Anything Cheese & Onion
Pickled Onion Monster Munch
Bombay Bad Boy Pot Noodle
Old Speckled Hen

All bring back fond memories when on the way back.

 

[countygardens]

I don't mind having an upset stomach, skipping off to the bog is no problem for me because you don't have to taste that.

Thats not quite true. The smell from your pooing is small particles of your actual poo. Therefore, as your tase and smell sensors are both reliant upon eachother, you are tasting your poo.

I would far prefer to vom--it--up.

 

[Steve]

I would far prefer to vom--it--up.

so you'd rather be sick than go to the toilet for a No2?

 

[countygardens]

Hmmmm! Put like that a dump would be preferable but the tasting poo thing is true!

 

[securespark]

Adam

Just to bore you with a couple of medical facts.....Zzzzzzzz

Things don't taste as good the second time round because of the presence of gastric juice, stomach acids (conc HCl) etc..

Thats why your throat burns and eventually your teeth rot, if you honk regularly enough.

If you had a non-return valve in place of the cardiac sphincter, you would kill yourself, because the vomit reflex is there to safely eject harmful substances from the body. If you were unable to expel these, they would be assimilated into the bloodstream and cause poisoning.

 

[AdamW]

So, what you also need is a manual bypass for the intestines! Straight from the duedenum to the rectum.

In fact, if you have it draining into the colon, you could use all the gastric juiciness to shift all the impacted red meat we have sitting up there.

Given a choice between 12 pints followed by that or someone sticking a hosepipe up my bottom, I know what I would choose!

 

[kendor]

So, what you also need is a manual bypass for the intestines! Straight from the duedenum to the rectum.

In fact, if you have it draining into the colon, you could use all the gastric juiciness to shift all the impacted red meat we have sitting up there.

Given a choice between 12 pints followed by that or someone sticking a hosepipe up my bottom, I know what I would choose!

you could always have the 12 pints afterwards