Norks have the answer to humanity's greatest problem

  • Thread starter Lincsbodger
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Lincsbodger

The North Korean regime says that its scientists have solved most of humanity's problems by developing controlled nuclear fusion. Unfortunately this is almost certainly a lie.

Nork state media reports that North Korean researchers have developed a "unique thermo-nuclear reaction device" with potential to end the human race's energy problems. Boffins worldwide have toiled for the past half-century to harness fusion, as it would offer plentiful clean energy without requiring scarce uranium fuel or involving the production of weapons-grade material as part of its fuel cycle.

Thus far, however, all fusion reactors consume more energy than they generate. The only practical application yet found for the process is that of enormously enhancing the power of atomic weapons, by using a uranium/plutonium fission bomb to trigger a fusion-powered explosion.

The BBC notes sceptically that the announcement was timed to coincide with the birthday of the Nork "eternal president" Kim Il-sung. Miraculous occurrences are often reported on birthdays of the ruling family. When the current dictator, Kim Jong-il, was born state media said that a new star had appeared in the sky.

Other assertions by the Nork government have included their recent announcement that the regime's scientists had launched the country's first satellite into orbit atop a Taepodong-2 rocket stack - also capable, if used as a missile, of delivering a warhead to the continental USA. The satellite was said to be broadcasting revolutionary songs.

In fact, however, the Taepodong suffered a technical mishap and its payload fell into the Pacific.

Nice as it would be to believe that the secret of controlled nuclear fusion has been found out at last, it seems likely that the debate around less satisfactory sources of power actually available in the real world will continue.
 
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You only have to look at ISS photo's of the earth at night. Have a look at South K then Nork. SK is lit up like a christmas tree whilst NK is in almost total darkness.
 
You only have to look at ISS photo's of the earth at night. Have a look at South K then Nork. SK is lit up like a christmas tree whilst NK is in almost total darkness.
That's because they all live underground ;) :LOL: :LOL:
 
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You never know indeed.

Maybe their spies have found out about the infamous cold fusion experiment. ;) ;) ;)

Maybe the US spoon fed them the data. :evil: :evil: :evil:

Maybe they bought one of those dodgy water heaters that uses a 'special electrode' to generate more energy than you put in - and they actually believe it's fusion! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
 
You never know indeed.

Maybe their spies have found out about the infamous cold fusion experiment. ;) ;) ;)

Maybe the US spoon fed them the data. :evil: :evil: :evil:

Maybe they bought one of those dodgy water heaters that uses a 'special electrode' to generate more energy than you put in - and they actually believe it's fusion! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
I bet they've got more than their fair share of real splinters of wood from Jesus' cross too!
 
Maybe somebody has sold them one of those electric room heaters that run at far less cost per unit output than any other and they've used the technology on their fusion reactor.
 
If a Nork married a Canadian would the offspring be Canook of the Nork :rolleyes:
 
Nige F said:
If a Nork married a Canadian --

If it happened inside North Korea, they would be found guilty of espionage and/or subversion and shot. If it happened outside, North Korean special agents would hunt them down and kill an innocent family of three somewhere in Qandahar. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
 
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