Sell the beds, install some large and immovable objects in the spare rooms. Theatre organs, iron lung, traction engine, home-weaving loom. Join the local "Harris Tweed Society" so you can invite the members round to committee meetings and have sessions using the loom whenever your offspring visit.
Get several small and very annoying yappy dogs.
Join the Cambridge Sun and Health Club (seniors section).
Take up spitting.
Whenever you see her, try to borrow money. Don't pay it back.
One of my colleagues moved to a small bungalow.