Perverely Sainful Bight Rollock

[securespark]

OK, so I'm not yet an old fart but I feel like one....

I get a pension

I have a bus pass

I wear hearing aids

I have painful joints

I get a flu jab


Well, I recently had this year's flu jab and have come down with something. It started with a nose like a tap, a cough and a general feeling of flu and stuffiness.

Now I have a Peverely Sainful Bight Rollock.

Could it be part of the flu-y symptoms?

I am already taking codeine, ibuprofen and paracetamol and it does not seem to make much difference.

Cheers, guys.


And Mods, please delete the same thread in Jokes Archive.

It's not that funny and I have no idea how I mistakenly posted it there!!

 

[OwainDIYer]

It might be. Gentleman's bits can get infected. See the doctor.
http://www.channel4embarrassingillnesses.com/conditions/testicular-pain/

 

[terrypin]

Any swelling to the rear of said *******?
Any swelling to tube at back of said *******?

 

[Brigadier]

Have you reduced the frequency of your "me time"? (PLEASE don't answer that )

Could be a pressure build up

 

[securespark]

terry:

I can't bring myself to touch it (now I know how Mrs Secure feels!!) but I am considering epididymitis.

Will ring the Quack in the morning.

Brig:

Not that kind of problem.. only affecting one side whereas that issue affects both for me.

 

[terrypin]

That's why I asked about the symptoms, I had it(epididymitis)and its effin horrible.
Took a couple of weeks of medication.

 

[handyjack]

Sounds like you might have Orchitis

Have you had Mumps?

Had it myself aged 21, accompanied by pneumonia.

 

[JBR]

OK, so I'm not yet an old fart but I feel like one....

I get a pension

I have a bus pass

I wear hearing aids

I have painful joints

I get a flu jab


Well, I recently had this year's flu jab and have come down with something. It started with a nose like a tap, a cough and a general feeling of flu and stuffiness.

Now I have a Peverely Sainful Bight Rollock.

Could it be part of the flu-y symptoms?

I am already taking codeine, ibuprofen and paracetamol and it does not seem to make much difference.

Cheers, guys.


And Mods, please delete the same thread in Jokes Archive.

It's not that funny and I have no idea how I mistakenly posted it there!!

Perhaps you can see why I always refuse the flu jab. Every time I visit the GP I receive a 'sales pitch'.

 

[FiremanT]

People get ill
People have flu jabs

Volume of patients dictate that both are bound to coincide for some

 

[securespark]

Went to MRI today. Ended up there all day and got home about 8pm.

I went to the drop-in sexual health clinic and had to wait a few hours to be fitted in as they were fully booked.

Had the full gamut of tests plus a rather probing (pun intended!) quiz of my sexual history.

Will find out in future if I have Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Hep B or HIV.

I waited for the results of the urine test and urethral swab test which surprisingly did not show up any infection.

The Doc arranged there and then to send me to Radiology for an Ultrasound scan as in the absence of infection, she wanted to eliminate other possible causes for the pain. I collected a script she gave me for antibiotics on the basis that there may be an infection that is not showing up yet.

I went to Radiology and the on-call radiologist scanned both testicles and then my kidneys and, aside from a small case of varicocele which is on the left side, not the right, everything seemed well.

I was then sent up to the Emergency Surgery and Trauma Unit to see the SpR in Urology to review the scan. She gave the old boys a severe mauling (ouch!) and proclaimed everything OK but basically suggested the pain may have been caused by "intermittent torsion".

So, I have to dose up on painkillers and antibiotics and if the pain worsens, go back to A & E immediately.

So far, it is still mad sore but a little less so.

 

[WalksWithTurkeys]

The forum is full of r ight b ollocks. Maybe you could borrow a spare?

I hope you perk up soon. I had gastroenteritus recently, it always happens when I'm off work.

 

[securespark]

Thanks!

I was on ESTU last night thinking that last Christmas I was in hospital with a spiral fracture from knee to ankle and not wanting to miss it again!

I had gastroenteritus recently, it always happens when I'm off work.

What is it that you eat at home you don't when you're at work?

 

[TheVictorian]

I was hospitalised for the best part of a week due to torsion, if you ever get a twinge that doesn't feel right then get straight to the docs/hospital gents. If I had left it another hour I'd be half the man I am!

 

[WalksWithTurkeys]

Thanks!

I was on ESTU last night thinking that last Christmas I was in hospital with a spiral fracture from knee to ankle and not wanting to miss it again!

I had gastroenteritus recently, it always happens when I'm off work.

What is it that you eat at home you don't when you're at work?

It can be caused by a virus picked up from others e.g. by shaking hands with an infected person. Maybe when I change jobs, the shaking hands at interviews causes the squits just before I start the new job? Or maybe it is diet, I wish I knew.

 

[Brigadier]

Thanks!

I was on ESTU last night thinking that last Christmas I was in hospital with a spiral fracture from knee to ankle and not wanting to miss it again!

I had gastroenteritus recently, it always happens when I'm off work.

What is it that you eat at home you don't when you're at work?

It can be caused by a virus picked up from others e.g. by shaking hands with an infected person. Maybe when I change jobs, the shaking hands at interviews causes the squits just before I start the new job? Or maybe it is diet, I wish I knew.

I often get ill when I'm off work: I put it down to getting run down, and your body subconsciously gives up when you don't have to go in for a week or so.