Reduntant Hunchback(joke)

[HOGGY952]

Due to the closure of Notre Dame Cathedral it has been seen necessary to make Quasimodo the hunchback redundant, however it has been seen fit to award him a LUMP SUM with 6 months BACK PAY,and crate of BELLS....

 

[wotan]

Quasimodo comes down from the bell tower, and finds Esmeralda warming up the wok....oh great we are going to have chinese,, no Quasi I am going to iron your shirts.

 

[daneski88]

Some terrible jokes gentlemen

 

[wotan]

Don't get the hump, at least they are clean.

 

[daneski88]

Don't get the hump, at least they are clean.

move along, move along

Next...

 

[Blasphemous]

Quasimodo went to see his GP.

The doctor, after examining him, says "I think there's something wrong with your back."

Quasimodo says "What makes you say that?"

The doctor replies "Oh, it's just a hunch."

 

[daneski88]

Don't call us, we'll call you.

Next

 

[Johnmelad502]

Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo are sitting in a pub with their mates.

Snow White says, "There's no doubt about it, I'm the fairest in the land."

Tom thumb says, "There's no doubt about it, I'm the smallest in the land."

Quasimodo says, "There's no doubt about it, I'm the ugliest in the land."

Their mates tell them to prove it by going to the magic all-knowing mirror, and the three head off.

A few minutes later, the door of the pub bursts open and Snow White runs in and says, "It's official...I'm the fairest in the land!"

Shortly afterwards, the door again bursts open and Tom Thumb runs in and shouts, "It's official...I'm the smallest in the land!"

Five minutes later, the door gets kicked in and Quasimodo storms in and bellows, "Who the tuck is Daneski88?"

 

[daneski88]

In retrospect, I think I preferred it when I was being ignored

 

[Blasphemous]

 

[Johnmelad502]

In retrospect, I think I preferred it when I was being ignored

Would not want to deprive you of your preferences, back you go...

 

[daneski88]

It's like deja vu, except with amnesia - I've forgotten that I've been here before

 

[Mickymoody]

It's a little known fact that Quasimodo was dyslexic, so when Esmerelda kicked him in the balls, after a disagreement, he didn't shout,

"The Bells The Bells!!!!!"

 

[ColJack]

Quasimodo was due to retire so they were trying out replacement bell ringers.
they final 3 applicants were called to the bell tower for a test..

"Ok, here's what you do, you push the bell hard to get it swinging, then you take a few steps back and run at it, hitting it with the top of your head to make it ring.. just like this.." which he duly demonstrated making a loud and glorious "dong!!".

the first guy stepped up, swung the bell and ran at it.
he hit it but with not much force, cutting his scalp and only succeding in making a dull "dunk!!" ..

"NEXT!"

the second guy stepped up, swung the bell and ran at it with much more gusto..
he managed to get a decent "ding!!" out of it but knocked himself unconscious..

"he's no good if he can only do one ding..NEXT!!"

the last guy realised that he'd have to try a lot harder so he gave the bella mighty push and ran at it with all his strength..
he stuck the bell producing a "DONG!!!" to rival the one Quasimodo had demonstrated.
unfortunately he had mistimed his run, striking the bell awkwardly and the backswing of the bell knocked him clear out of the bell tower, plunging him to the pavement far below.

a crowd gathered round the body, as they do.
one man asked if anybody knew the young man.
"no" came the reply, but one man said .......
.
.
.
.
.
"but his face rings a bell".....


ok so that wasn't worth all that reading was it?

 

[daneski88]

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