Roughly how much for this 'detailed' plan???

[Neil DG]

Hello folks,

I am what you would call a ‘professional’ handyman/Sparky in training! Bloody good mind at it mind! I have a question I hope somebody out there can answer. I have just finished laying 4 square metres of 600 by 300mm porcelain tiles in a bathroom. The room was a nightmare shape (no wall was at a right angle or parallel to anything) and I was constantly up and down to the wet wheel. Out of the 22 tiles used I had to shape 14 of them with only 8 being a straight lay.

The problem/query I have is that I do not know what to charge. This may sound strange, but its for a well-off family member who is happy to pay the going rate. Casting my critical eye over my work I would say my workmanship is excellent and many a professional would agree I am sure. The main difference being that they would do it in half the time!!

I am based in the North East and the tiles/adhesive/grout have already been paid for. Are diamond bits normally factored in as part of a quote? If anyone can help I would be immeasurably grateful.

 

[roughcaster]

Hi Neil
For a job of that size(4sq.mtrs) with all the problems of cutting,shaping etc, for the added quality of the workmanship that you have mentioned,I would expect you to receive no less than 2 packets of Smarties,a box of Dairy Milk chocolates, and a dozen packets of Walkers Ready Salted crisps.If you also supplied the diamond bits as well,then the box of Dairy Milk chocolates should be the Large size. But if, as you, said that the tiles,adhesive and grout had already been paid for,then you should,maybe as a gesture of goodwill,deduct the two packets of Smarties from your account,as it would look bad to overcharge and cause bad feeling with the well off member of your family.There is no charge for this advice.

Roughcaster.

 

[Neil DG]

Mr Caster, your 'wit' and sarcasm is without competitor's.

PS I am diabetic.. can I request sugar-free varieties??

 

[breezer]

how about rhubarb and custard flavoured sweets

or just materials.


have you ever thought he only said he wants to pay the going rate, not really meaning it, if he did, would he have not got some one else in?

or you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours, he may be able to do you a favbor one day

 

[Neil DG]

Mate, they are loaded, me and my wife aint. I do a good job, and they trust me. There is no back scratching as they have paid me the 'going rate' for loads of other work. But on this I am stumped as I do not know the going rate. Maybe I should have got a few quotes of proper tilers first knowing I was wasting their time so I could just get an idea of what to charge.

 

[Neil DG]

PS He is unlikely to be able to ever do me a favour! I dont wanna sound like a so and so. They want to pay what they feel is right and I could do with the money.

 

[roughcaster]

Mr DG,
Thank you for comment.You are right,sugar free would be advisable and i'm sure your relative would accommodate this when settling the account.There is a rule on this Forum (Rule 9).It states that asking how much to charge,prices/quotes etc is not allowed on this Forum.

Roughcaster.

 

[Neil DG]

In that case then I will go vamoosh. Maybe a career as a H&S officer is on the horizons if your knees go bad. You seem well suited to it with your knowledge of rules and regulations. Did I break another one with reference to diabetes? Thank you, ahem, for your help. Maybe next time you could come straight to the point and alert the moderator's to my ignorance of the rules.

PS Next time I tile a floor should I wear a bump cap to prevent moths (and their ilk) from endangering me?

Sir, you are a special special person.

 

[roughcaster]

Do you wear a bump cap only when you are tiling floors? That is asking for trouble.Wear them all the time I say.DG,there are many people who come on here and ask "how much is this"? and "how much should I pay for that?" These kind of questions cannot be answered without having seen the job or product.You wouldn't expect to phone a garage to ask how much to fix your car without the garage having seen it.You can't price what you can't see.Good luck and take care with your diabetes,and good night.

Roughcaster

 

[Neil DG]

Dearest Ruff,

What a pile of she ite. I could ring a garage tomorrow and say I need a new exhaust. They would say 'roughly' how much it would be. that is what I asked despite my ignorance of 'the rules' of the site.

I get calls everyday asking me how much would this an that cost and I manage to give a 'rough' 'approximate' 'ballpark' figure. Of course you need to see the job 'in the flesh' to factor in everything and that is why i proferred as much info as poss (though I forgot to say it was floor tiling not walls). As a result I am booked up for the next 6 wks (must be a bad way of working eh).

You sound like you have spent far far too much time working on building sites with your she ite sarcasm and your obsession with rules. WHY dont you chill out a bit. Why answer questions on a forum if you have nothing useful to offer??

I was looking at other sections of this site and noticed you reply to loads. Have you ever tried knocking one off more often. Consider it therapy.

 

[Neil DG]

Jeez I must be bored. i just noticed that you are wrong. Asking prices is not advisable it says, not that it is not allowed. Not only are you a font of all things useless, you are also inaccurate. Bad knees all the way for you sunshine unless you can learn to grapple with the rules better. I hope your work is better than your ability to read a simple sentence or two. Tisk tisk.

 

[breezer]

asking prices / costs is not a good idea, your example of an exhaust cost is a bad example since it is a known factor, (the place you ask charge a fixed price for the exhaust and fitting of it)

Tiling has too many variables, do you have to lay a wooden base first, type of adhesive required , quality of tiles, etc (i dont know much about tiling)

you also missed general information item F (if its rules you are worried about)

we also dont know how long the job took to do, access to the job, parking (congestion charge if London) etc.

You should never give a rough price / ball park figure on the phone, I shall explain, Mrs A phones up, you say £X, she accepts your price, when you get there its in a tower block with no parking and the lift is out of order, nearest parking is 1/2 mile away you have to make several trips to bring in materials, job is not quite what she descirbed, so you charge more than £X, (she is not happy and only gives you £X, (you loose out) but if you had of gone there to quote, you would have seen for yourself what is involved.

also as forum rule 9 says "Any prices mentioned should not be relied upon. "

sorry but that is the way it is on this forum, its been going for years so there must be something right

oh , and i think you should ask for cheses and onion crisps (i hate ready salted)

its not that everyone is a joker on this forum, its just most read the rules before asking a question