Smile Please! Cracker Jokes!

[dave.m]

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."



(You're going to love this..................)



You're going to hate yourself for loving this!




















"Ah! So solly," says the waiter,

"I bring you Peeking Duck!"

 

[gcol]

Jezus wept! Go to bed man!

 

[jefoss]

 

[confidentincompetent]

 

[tim west]

glad they didnt order sweet and sour balls

 

[Rob]

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled.....




















"SUPPLIES!!"

 

[NS215]

what do you call a fly with no legs ????????????

















A WALK

 

[bernardgreen]

what do you call a fly with no legs ????????????

A WALK

? ? ? ?

 

[Trazor]

what do you call a fly with no legs ????????????

A WALK

? ? ? ?

I think he must mean wings, not legs......................

 

[securespark]

Man goes to Dr...

Dr, one day I feel like a wigwam & the next I feel like a Teepee.

That because you're too tense...