The Complete Idiots Medical Dictionary.

[conny]

With acknowledgements to Rocks1 and anyone else who contributed.
Now lets see who complains that this is racsist.(sp)

Artery........................... The study of paintings

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section..... A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty

Cauterize..................... Made eye contact with her

Colic............................ A sheep dog

Coma.......................... A punctuation mark

Dilate.......................... To live long

Enema........................ Not a friend

Fester......................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula......................... A small lie

Impotent..................... Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain............... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.............. A Doctor's cane

Morbid...................... A higher offer

Nitrates..................... Cheaper than day rates

Node......................... I knew it

Outpatient................. A person who has fainted

Pelvis........................ Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative.......... A letter carrier

Recovery Room........ Place to do upholstery

Rectum..................... Nearly killed him

Secretion.................. Hiding something

Seizure..................... Roman emperor

Tablet....................... A small table

Terminal Illness....... Getting sick at the airport

Tumour.................... One plus one more

Urine........................ Opposite of you're out
__________________


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[legs-akimbo]

This is outrageous and I am deeply offended.
Everyone knows this is actually The medical Dictionary of Cork !!!

 

[conny]

Knew somebody would reply!

Love the name by the way!

 

[Space cat]

Nice one Conny.

Here are a few more, including some I put on just before it was wiped :

Anterior ------ An ant hill
Auricle ------- A Roman goddess
Femur -------- A female lemur
Gall stone ---- A Roman obelisk in modern-day France
Isotonic ------ A cold drink
Leucocyte ---- An orange, fizzy drink
Lumbar ------ Wood
Maxilla -------- A giant ape
Mons pubis --- A Greek mountain
Posterior ----- The mail room
Serum -------- A sailor's drink
Sternum ----- The back end of a boat
Thoracic ------ The period following the Ice Age
Urethra ------- Greek for "The water's too hot!"

Keep them coming!

 

[dextrous]

I find the reference to "Cork", "Roman" and "Greek" offensive and deeply racist.

 

[conny]

Wise man say, only fools rush in

Wiser man say, "Don't try to antagonise someone you don't know."

 

[mark vincent]

With acknowledgements to Rocks1 and anyone else who contributed.
Now lets see who complains that this is racsist.(sp)

Artery........................... The study of paintings

Bacteria....................... Back door to cafeteria

Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die

Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section..... A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan....................... Searching for Kitty

Cauterize..................... Made eye contact with her

Colic............................ A sheep dog

Coma.......................... A punctuation mark

Dilate.......................... To live long

Enema........................ Not a friend

Fester......................... Quicker than someone else

Fibula......................... A small lie

Impotent..................... Distinguished, well known

Labour Pain............... Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff.............. A Doctor's cane

Morbid...................... A higher offer

Nitrates..................... Cheaper than day rates

Node......................... I knew it

Outpatient................. A person who has fainted

Pelvis........................ Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative.......... A letter carrier

Recovery Room........ Place to do upholstery

Rectum..................... Nearly killed him

Secretion.................. Hiding something

Seizure..................... Roman emperor

Tablet....................... A small table

Terminal Illness....... Getting sick at the airport

Tumour.................... One plus one more

Urine........................ Opposite of you're out
__________________


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I am sure any idiots reading this will be offended

 

[Space cat]

I am sure any idiots reading this will be offended

They'll have to learn how to read first.

 

[conny]

I am sure any idiots reading this will be offended

I don't take offence.







In fact I don't even take a gate and they are smaller!

 

[Space cat]

Here are a few more:

Alimentary ---- Easy
Cardiac -------- An American car
Centriole ------ A shelter for a soldier on guard duty
Chordate ------ A night out with a movie star.
Clavicle -------- A musical Instrument
Condyle -------- A phone scam
Corporeal ------ A rank in the Army
Cytisine -------- Something I saw
Cytotoxin ------ A hazardous waste dump
Distal ----------- To make whiskey
Endoscope ----- The bit of a telescope you look through.
Fundus ---------- Any chance of a loan?
Humerus -------- Funny
Hormone ------- A sound often heard in brothels
Pancreas ------- A London station
Pheromone ----- Political dissent in ancient Egypt
Platelet ---------- A saucer
Prepuce --------- A feline embryo
Sacrum --------- Part of a church
Semen ---------- Sailors
Solar plexus ---- A sun spot