found this thought id share, very good!
I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
I went to the video rental shop, and I said, "I want to watch some videos"
"Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"
"No, just for a couple of hours...."
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.'
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.
I went to the video rental shop, and I said, "I want to watch some videos"
"Do you want to watch Batman Forever?"
"No, just for a couple of hours...."
So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.'
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only cling-film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
