Computers are getting more crucial to boilers. Is this a Good Thing?
Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
General Motors' response pointed out how we accept junk in computing which others technologies can only laugh at. (Can find it if anyone hasn't seen it. eg Gas-News recently). You can't quite delete "car" and insert "boiler", but :
If Boiler Makers had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be using boilers with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your boiler would crash twice a day.
2. Every time you change a radiator, you would have to buy a new device driver for the boiler.
3. Occasionally your boiler would die for no reason. You would have to drain out all the water, refill with new chemicals and purge the gas pipe. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as adjusting a thermostat would cause your boiler to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to take out the circuit boards and resolder the joints.
5. Macintosh would make a boiler that was powered by the sun, worked for longer than the warranty period, was five times as efficient and twice as easy to install - but would only work on 14mm and 23mm pipes.
6. The pressure gauge, low pressure light and temperature readout would be replaced by a single "This Boiler Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light. And a beep.
7. The pressure relief valve control system would ask "Are you sure water discharge is to a safe and visible place?" before opening.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your boiler would lock you out of the house and refuse to let you in until you call BG and arrange for them to come and sniff your flue gasses. No mobile phone? You are incompatible, sorry.
9. Number 9 is low tech so has already been accomplished - every time you need a new combi you DO have to move all the pipes. This is enforced by a recent regulation - you need an extra pipe.
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the heating off.
11 - Doesn't yet apply to cars. You will need VIRUS protection for your heating system to stop someone logging in to your remote diagnostics utilities and making
- your gas meter go round twice as fast
- your boiler discharge unburnt gas at maximum rate
- your boiler pump all your water and regulation inhibitor out through the pressure relief pipe
- your boiler only light the gas when the combustion chamber is just full of an explosive mixture. This will be implemented incrementally so you get used to it until you find the boiler on the floor one day.
