Aerodynamics

[bernardgreen]

The teacher set his pupils the following subject for a holiday assignment.

Investigate and report on how flies land on the ceiling. Submit your findings by e-mail to [email protected] in three weeks time.

Five weeks later the teacher checked that all students had submitted and was about put the collected files to one side to read and mark when he was in a mood to do so. After all to read them would require patience and tolerance and that was something he was short of just now.

He was about to close the folder when he noticed one submission had a word count of TWO, a two word submission from one of his most able students ? ? Must be an error in the file system. curiousity over came him and he opened the file to find just two words.


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UPSIDE DOWN

 

[Shutpa]

Was his name David? Once, after covering all of the topics for the forthcoming exam, I had just completed the last session of revision. "That's it then" I said "Now if you have any questions, this is your last chance". David put up his hand and asked his question: "Sir, do you have a dog"?

 

[tim west]

what happened to //// ?

 

[bernardgreen]

what happened to //// ?

It dis-appeared of to the gents, it needed a slash.

Its back now

 

[Steve]

I remember at Primary school they used to encourage us to read all the questions first, then start answering them from the beginning. They tested this once. Gave us an exam (unexpected) and said to read all the questions then answer them.

So 29 kids (myself included) started answering the questions. One kid read the exam and put his pen down and folded his arms. Odd, we thought. He was a very able student.

We got to answering the last question. This was "Put your pen down, fold you arms, and dont answer any of the questions on this exam"

 

[Space cat]

We got to answering the last question. This was "Put your pen down, fold you arms, and dont answer any of the questions on this exam"

I saw something like this back in the eighties. It was supposed to be an aptitude test for jobs at Newcastle City Council and I never knew whether it was real or a spoof.

It read like this:

1) Read everything before you write anything.

2) Put your name at the top of the paper.

Instructions 3 to 19 were tasks of increasing complexity. I don't remember them but a typical one might be "Multiply the numbers you got at steps 6 and 9 then find the square root". These ran onto the next page where the final instruction appeared --

20) Complete instructions 1 and 2 only.

 

[tim west]

I remember at Primary school

Last week?

 

[wanabechippie]

I remember something similar at an RAF aptitude test I went to.

Test sheet went something like:

1. Write name in top left corner.
2. draw a box around your name
3. Shade in odd letters
4. draw a circle around the box

(on like this for 20 odd questions...)

25. having read these questions carefully, complete Q.1.

many exasperated gasps!

 

[tim west]

Although these so called aptitude tests make someone somewhere chuckle to themselves how clever they were to devise such a "cunning" test, what actual benefit to a company do these papers give? So they pay attention, they can write their own name! much better to have them answer real questions and you can deduce from the answers whether they paid proper attention to the question.

 

[namsag]

When i sat entrance exam for my apprenticeship my mate who already worked for the company said if they call your name out at the end you have passed.
So me and another mate go for exam and i tell him this, exam starts and i sail through, close paper and sit with smug look on face as everyone still hard at it after about 10/15 mins i think WTF is taking them so long and go back through paper only to realise i have missed 2 pages, sh#te.

Quickly get into them again and miss a few out as time runs out..think well i have f##ked that up..
Names get read out including my mates mine not mentioned at all. He is looking over laughing at me and giving me the toss#r hand sign. I am gutted only to hear the guy say to that group just because you have not passed this exam doesn`t mean you won`t get a job elsewhere.

Mates face was a picture and still thinks to this day i set him up