I work in a nursing home (as the maintenance person) Some residents have visits almost every day, and others have visits from relatives very rarely. I don't think the decision to place someone in a home is taken lightly. Often families are torn between struggling to look after an elderly relative and placing them in to care. Believe me, I've seen sons and daughters in floods of tears when they've brought their mum/dad in for the first time. They feel as though, they have let their parent down, at a time when, mum/dad needs them the most. Worse still is the couple who've been married for 50/60 years and find themselves separated for the first time in their married lives, simply because one of them cannot cope with the care of a dementia sufferer.
People are wracked with feelings of guilt, leaving a loved one in unfamiliar surroundings, in the care of people they hardly know.
Here's a poem written by a family member of a person suffering with dementia. Enjoy.
She’s trapped inside the prison walls
That used to be her mind.
The woman that she used to be,
Has long been left behind.
There are times she’s quite alert,
Her memory’s still intact.
Then there are days when she disappears,
And we know it’s not an act.
No longer able to care for herself,
We couldn’t leave her alone.
Her safety had to be assured,
So we placed her in a home.
Good days are when we visit her,
And she calls us by our name.
She’s grateful for the company,
And thankful that we came.
Most of the time it’s difficult,
To see our Mom that way.
All we can do is love her now,
As we take life day by day.