Have we had a 'dumb things people do' thread on DIYnot?

[Big Tone]

Owain, you just reminded me of one which happened earlier this year.

The 'big cheese' at work came to me because she couldn't access info on her mem stick. (Jenny big nob on ~£60k )

She'd been trying, on and off, all morning to retrieve a Word Doc so eventually came to me in desperation.

I took one look and noticed, after looking closely, it had written upon the body a certain radio frequency.

To be fair, it does look the same as a USB flash mem but even so...

 

[EddieM]

2 memorable ones.

First after some stormy weather a branch of the bank I worked at were complaining that they couldn't access customer accounts or indeed do much. Asked them to check the server room in the basement but they said they couldn't as the fire brigade were in attendance pumping it out!

Second got a panicked call from a branch saying it had been been evacuated as the server was reporting it was gonna blow up. After a bit of investigation some noob was watching the server unpacking its compressed files. The message on the server read something along the lines of exploding package 1 of x !!

 

[Brigadier]

A friend's oil warning light came on.
Two hours later, the AA man turned up to find him dribbling oil down the dipstick tube

Similarly, the bloke with the leaking (car) radiator at a former workplace, was advised to put an egg in, to seal the leak.
Next day, when asked how he had got on, replied that it hadn't worked. Transpired that he had fried the egg first, then stuffed it into the rad.......

 

[securespark]

You think that's bad, my mate's GF got asked to top up the oil. He explained which oil to buy and where to put it.

Then she rang my mate from the garage saying the car would not start.

She had FILLED it with oil......

 

[pred]

Sounds like my Italian brother in law, 5lt of oil straight in a Ford Fiesta, give him a flymo and he'll cut through the cable, however in the kitchen he is brilliant..

 

[Danoil]

Got called to a customer who apparently had a pipping noise every so often from the boiler, after a short investigation it turned out to be a fire alarm with a flat battery on the shelf above!

 

[s60tsy]

a guy at an old workplace had to direct another driver to the house he was at, he explained to him that there was a black wheelie bin at the end of the drive.... also he had a black golden retriever at home...

 

[s60tsy]

he also asked for a blue WD40 at the bar once...

 

[longdogs]

Had a new guy start at work some years back. It was his first day and he went down to the canteen to make tea and coffee for everyone. I asked for a black coffee. Five minutes later, I got a phone call from him which went:

'Did you say you wanted a black coffee?'

'Yes please'

'Do you want milk in it?'

'ER, no, just black please'

'Ok, it's just that some people have milk in their black coffee don't they'



On another occasion, he told me:

'We've organised our wedding for next year. Organised the venue, what food we are having and all the drinks, beer, wine etc'

'Where you having it?'

'........On a table'

 

[Big Tone]

My friend once tried to teach his mate some basic electrical maths; just ohms law and calculations.

Knowing the mains voltage, as we do, and power consumption of the kettle, he asked him what fuse would be appropriate. His mate's reply was "half a current".

To this day I ask "how's your half a current friend? "

 

[Ricardus]

On another occasion, he told me:

'We've organised our wedding for next year. Organised the venue, what food we are having and all the drinks, beer, wine etc'

'Where you having it?'

'........On a table'

Me to my team leader - "I can't do that job as I'm on holiday that week."
Team Leader - "Have you booked it with the manager?"
Me - "No, Thomas Cook."

 

[EddieM]

You think that's bad, my mate's GF got asked to top up the oil. He explained which oil to buy and where to put it.

Then she rang my mate from the garage saying the car would not start.

She had FILLED it with oil......

Similar my ex omce filled the lawnmower with oil when I informed her it needed some, very smokey for a while.

 

[Brigadier]

Years ago, I mentioned to my wife about a "Around the World" prize in a competition.

"Where to?", was her reply.

 

[JBR]

Years ago, I mentioned to my wife about a "Around the World" prize in a competition.

"Where to?", was her reply.

A perfectly valid question!

After all, Michael Palin went around the world in more than one way!

 

[Gasman28]

My ex wife wanted to go on a cruise, so I took her to Greenham Common