Hi Moz
Hope the drip is keeping Maria's pain well controlled and she is able to enjoy her time with you and her friend Wendy, who hopefully arrived safely, and other family members and friends.
Moz, Markie asked you if you have discussed your intentions with Maria - I very much suspect that you have not: she loves you - how could she possibly want such a thing ?
You say you must be SO strong, and you MUST. What about your sister Chris ?? What would it do to her ? And will it help Tracey to get over the loss of her sister, knowing what you have done ?
What about little Katie - what is her father going to say when she says 'Where is Uncle Moz, Daddy ?' So think hard, Moz. It will be terrible, awful, for you when your beloved Maria has to leave you but believe it or not, the pain will ease with time and the support of those who love you. If it didn't the population of the world would be decimated every week because bereaved people would not cope.
From what I can glean, you have weathered some terrible tragedies, don't let this one beat you. Think, you might not have had the great years you had with your beloved Maria - stay alive and look back on them with pride and joy.
As the others said, we are all watching the forum anxiously for news and you are constantly in our thoughts and prayers.