Popped around mother's yesterday, and happened upon the local neighbourhood watch magazine (edited by b-i-l).
Had to chuckle at some of the reported crimes, and also their write-ups.
Burglary (domestic property): offender kicked panel of upvc front door, to gain entry. Left 3 x muddy footprints. No damage.
Various reports involving insecure cars, doors, and sheds.....
Best one that I immediately recall was the burglar who made of with 3 packets of digestive biscuits, and "a couple of plums". Whether the police report meant his accomplices or a bit of fruit, the prose did not make clear....