pardon, je pa parl francais, parly vous anglais?
That is the most complicated phrase I know, and that is how good my spelling is.
I know a few words eg. demi, grande bier, carafe, catre jager bomb s'il vous plait!
(For the benefit of those who dont know any french, the first bit says, 'sorry I don't speak French, do you speak English?' - said with apologetic facial expression and hand gestures this is enough to get you by 80%-90% of the time - the other 10-20% they say 'non' sharply and turn away! The list of words is, half (pint), large beer (pint), container of wine (usually a litre), and '4 jagermeister bombs please'!)
I know what a croque monsueir is because, along with cheese and ham baguttes it's survival food when you're on a budget and don't know any French!