Ron,
It's difficult to comment on your system without knowing the full details of plumbing, controls and wiring. The common system for control of pumped heating and gravity hot water is the Honeywell C-Plan. You can download the leaflet with the wiring diagram here:
http://www.bssindustrial.com/supplier-literature/45/honeywell-sundial-plans.html
The C-Plan achieves independent control of the heating and hot water by means of the changeover switch inside the 28mm version of the Honeywell 2-port valve, i.e. V4043H1106. I note that the valve that you have is the 22mm version which has the single throw switch and is not suitable for a C-Plan system. You can download the V4043 leaflet here which should make the difference clear.
http://www.uk-plumbing.com/brochure/honeywell/V4043Datasheet.pdf
Maybe you have got the wrong valve because gravity hot water is usually 28mm or maybe 1" BSP for older systems.
If you follow the C-Plan wiring diagram through you can see that the heating and hot water can be controlled independently, i.e.
Heating:
The time controller outputs Mains Live to terminal 4 of the wiring centre. (The wiring centre is a plastic box containing a 10 way terminal block and has knockouts for cables.) The Room Stat is shown in the call for heat position and Live is connected to the heating pump via terminal 5, the wire link and terminal 9. Live is extended to the boiler via terminal 9 the normally closed side of the changeover switch in the valve and terminal 10.
Hot Water:
The time controller outputs Mains Live to terminal 6 of the wiring centre. The Cylinder Stat when closed i.e. calling for heat, connects Live to the valve motor via terminal 8. (The Cylinder Stat is shown in the Off position in the diagram). When the valve opens to allow gravity circulation in the hot water circuit it also moves the switch to the other position which connects Live to the boiler via terminals 1 and 10. The heating pump will only run if the Room Stat is calling for heat at the same time.
If you can get your system to the standard C-Plan you can improve the gravity circulation by fitting a pump in the hot water primary circuit and connecting the L, N and Earth wires to wiring centre terminals 8, 2 and 3 respectively. This is a non-standard modification but it has worked for me and others on this thread. You need to ensure that the feed and vent pipes are not blocked by the valve and/or pump.