Language

[notb665]

We shouldn't use "Dutch" anyway. That word is a contraction of "Deutsch", and, as I am sure any Nederlander will tell you, they ain't German.

Anyway, what does "Le Pays-Bas" actually mean?

 

[markie]

never mind, its not as if i will be going to holland in the near future, unless i need some round cheese what smell like sweaty feet

 

[WoodYouLike]

We shouldn't use "Dutch" anyway. That word is a contraction of "Deutsch", and, as I am sure any Nederlander will tell you, they ain't German.

Anyway, what does "Le Pays-Bas" actually mean?

Aloow me to differ, Notb. Dutch is the proper English word for our language, cause we're Dutch people living in The Netherlands (where Holland -North and South Holland are just two of the 12 provincies. Our country is frequently incorrect called Holland, but that's part of our History when Holland was a separet entity)

The word you mean is Diets, the 'germananic' languege where German, English and Scandinavian originate from. The 'problem' started when Germans went to USA and called themself Deutch, which sounded like the already known Dutch.
But you're right about one thing though, we're not German

Le Pays-Bas just means The Low Lands or Netherlands in French (Pays = lands - countries, bas is low)

And that concludes your second lesson, please pay at the check-out

 

[notb665]

never mind, its not as if i will be going to holland in the near future, unless i need some round cheese what smell like sweaty feet

Or some cannabis.

Gosh, it felt like I was walking on marshmallows at one point.

 

[ban-all-sheds]

Like I said, don't trust Internet translations
The funniest one I ever seen was an English Kleeneze site 'translated' in Dutch where Neighbourhoodwatch was translated into buurt horloge
(buren = neighbourhood, horloge = watch as in wrist-watch )

Or the (probably apocryphal) tale of "out of sight, out of mind" being translated (don't know what into) as "blind and insane", or "hydraulic ram" becoming "water sheep".

Anyway - for those of you off to Holland, (or indeed anywhere), the following are all useful phrases to learn in the appropriate native language.

"Where is the nearest hospital?"

"Please call an ambulance, my friend has stopped breathing"

"No, officer, they are not mine"

"No, officer, I have never seen him before in my life"

"No, officer, I don't know why he's saying that, he must be a madman"

"Please allow me to phone the British consul"

 

[WoodYouLike]

Ok, here goes:

"Where is the nearest hospital?"

Waar is het ziekenhuis?

"Please call an ambulance, my friend has stopped breathing"

Bel een ambulance, mijn vriend ademt niet meer

"No, officer, they are not mine"

Nee, agent, die zijn niet van mij

"No, officer, I have never seen him before in my life"

Nee, agent. ik heb hem nog nooit van mijn leven gezien

"No, officer, I don't know why he's saying that, he must be a madman"

Nee, agent, ik weet niet wat hij zegt, hij moet gek zijn.

"Please allow me to phone the British consul"

Laat me in hemelsnaam het Britse Consulaat bellen.

BTW, also useful in Flanders Belgium

This concludes your third lesson, please pay at the check out.

 

[Igorian]

never mind, its not as if i will be going to holland in the near future, unless i need some round cheese what smell like sweaty feet

Or some cannabis.

Gosh, it felt like I was walking on marshmallows at one point.

Hindu Kush?

 

[notb665]

Skkull Fooker I think it was called.

 

[notb665]

I have a CD by Jantje Koopmans called "Rode Rozen".

 

[kendor]

I've got a sister who rides a bike.

 

[WoodYouLike]

I have a CD by Jantje Koopmans called "Rode Rozen".

Talk about a tear-jerker Poor you, don't tell me you like it?

 

[notb665]

I have a CD by Jantje Koopmans called "Rode Rozen".

Talk about a tear-jerker Poor you, don't tell me you like it?

Not really, I just collect cheesy foreign/ethnic CDs.

Sometimes we (family) have country-themed parties, just because we can. Fancy dress, food, music, the lot. Because we're K-R-A-Z-Y KRAZY. Or something.

 

[Richardp]

before you guys go slagging off the dutch spare a thought for that little fella that stuck his finger up that hole to stop the water pouring in and washing the whole country away, think of it, no tulips and no nice smelly cheese wiv red candle wax all over it and they make nice hamster jam.

 

[kendor]

before you guys go slagging off the dutch spare a thought for that little fella that stuck his finger up that hole to stop the water pouring in and washing the whole country away, think of it, no tulips and no nice smelly cheese wiv red candle wax all over it and they make nice hamster jam.

that's a myth, he didn't use his finger

 

[ban-all-sheds]

no nice smelly cheese wiv red candle wax all over it.

If you think Edam is smelly, you clearly know nothing about cheese....