Pump-kin

[empip]

This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Comeback Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."

"I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.

"I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there and then looked me straight in the face and said.....




"A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

 

[namsag]

True. Story in the papers a few years ago, oil worker in gulf used to satisfy himself by doing same thing with a melon . On returning home to Scotland he found the melons where a wee bit cold so he warmed it up in a microwave dipped his c#ck and ended up in hospital with severe burns.

 

[bathstyle]

Yes we've all done it, in my younger days I used to get my thrills with a cardboard cutout of Pamela Anderson, a heated up jar of liver and some duct tape.

 

[bathstyle]

....and before anyone says it...no it wasn't Palmela handerson really

 

[mlb3c]

tmi

 

[Nige F]

But which did he spill on the ground...His seed..or the pumpkin seed . They are a bit hot on that bible stuff in some states .. I think Kev had to go through a Holy Water shower in Immigration

 

[EdwardCurrent]

After reading the title of this 'post' I thought it may have something to do with incest !!!!!!!!
However, having read it, all I can add is bathstyle, try using a flask instead of a jar, it stays warm for longer.

Regards
Ed.

 

[bathstyle]

Best post of the month

I assume you are suggesting a Thermos flask? Loving your work

 

[EdwardCurrent]

Yep, thats the one. Watch the neck size when buying though .

It's a Hampshire thing, we like to be helpful .

Regards and respect,

Eddie

 

[tim west]

tmi

yes lbm?