Self-harm

[toffee]

moz.. I agree, the child comes first...

but notb is not alone.

Many people (and whilst you read his I bet many readers have had concerns in the past about things they have seen or heard but have done NOTHING about it .... many people)

then suddenly it is too late.

Often people assume that someone else will see the warning signs too and act upon it so they do nothing.

I look from a different angle and I always say tell... no matter how trivial.. tell someone.... if you have any concerns.
but I also understand that people are afraid of repercussions if they tell of their concerns.

I hope this isnt a wind up post too but if it is then it has achieved attention for those kids who may be suffering as you read this thread.

(heck my post is like those adverts that come on just as your having a fantastic evening and show poor kids in violent homes and it kinda puts a dampener on your night.. yes???

but hey.. think how it is for the kids.. lecture (as I know it must appear) over...

 

[Moz]

"a fantastic evening and show poor kids in violent homes and it kinda puts a dampener on your night"

lol ...

dampener on your night...indeed ..lol ...lol lol

I laugh I do ... sarcastically ..

 

[toffee]

yes... I meant it seriously moz...

people see those adverts and it makes them feel uncomfortable and often they turn the tv over so that it eases the feelings of discomcomfort that they feel feel seeing it.

Switch the tv over, hey... you can make the problem go away ( in your head only)


Seeing children in distress makes people feel uncomfortable so many just turn off.

THat is what I meant!

 

[toffee]

I hope the irony was not lost moz.

 

[Brightness]

Yes notb665 you MUST report this. I would always report something like this even if it was a close relative.

In fact I am not ashamed to say that I have reported two seperate cases of neglect and abuse to Social Services & would do every single time I suspected or witnessed it. It's always better to be safe than sorry.

I speak from bitter experience here too, I'm not just a do-gooder.

It could be that the poor girl just needs some help and support but if she's in bed, stoned then the child can't be being looked after properly

 

[notb665]

Thank you for your comments.

I assure this is not a jokey post. I may have a reputation for random, jokey threads but this is not something to joke about. My mother had an abysmal childhood, if you can call it that; my brother and I have suffered because of this, indeed it has partly shaped us to the way we are. Her childhood was horrifying. I have vowed always to make sure kids have a good time, to make them smile.

For your information, I already phoned her doctors before I started this thread, and am ringing them again tomorrow. I just wanted some backup I suppose. The self-harm has happened twice I think and a couple of cases of neglect also. When the toddler does go missing it is next door to her grandparents. But she still gets there on her own. I started this thread because the self-harm/neglect is all in the beginning phases and I wanted to make sure I had done the right thing in phoning her doctors and trying to nip it in the bud.

The woman has such highs and lows it is amazing; I know myself that this is a sign of depression. She says it would destroy her if her daughter was taken away, but I have told her it may be for the best. I have urged her to seek help but she won't. That is why I phoned her doctors.

Thanks for your continued support, comments and friendship.

I will also phone childline. And I will let you know what they said, if you like.

 

[masona]

Any of you lived through it ........ ...I know what I`m talking about.

Yes, my sister used to cut herself which I believe is known as a 'cutter' (?), I was too young to understand what's going on but she's over it now, took a long time though.

 

[Nige F]

Good to hear your sister`s better ........these things..take bloody years ..but at the end of the tunnel....you can look back..a good place to be

 

[Dellsmp]

good for you notb665,
There is a lot of nonsense talked about self harm and in your case she needs help, and your course of action has a lot of support, mine included.
Keep communicating, that is the only real solution, there are an awful lot of reasons for self harm, I have heard of something called 'emo' from my eldest daughter, its all to do with emotions and feelings, an extension of the goth cult apparrently. anyway a lot of kids get caught up in it and carry out self harm as part of the culture of emo, its rife through some schools and is another problem for the kids to deal with.
I looked up emo in wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emo_(slang)
and it mentions self harm, we (parents) just dont need another thing like this to have to steer our kids around, Notb665 you have a huge emotional load here and my utmost respect for your intentions.
Dig deep and stay on the case.

 

[mlb3c]

notb665, I agree the priority is for the child. Have that squared away first...since the mothers problem probably is due to some sort of emotional/mental ordeal...she isnt thinking rationally. The utmost priority is the child. The rest can be sorted later. You have done the right thing it sounds like...but I can understand how it would be unnerving..You have my support. Let us know how it turns out.

 

[Zampa]

Your advice please:

I know a young woman (21) who has 3 year old daughter. The woman self-harms, but she refuses to seek help. Should I ring her doctor's surgery to let them know? Is this appropiate? Is it intefering?

Thank you.

If the child is at risk then contact the doctor. Better to risk some embarrassment than a child's welfare.

Spot on..the Doc's will be reluctant to do anything for fear of being sued..get on to social services..do your bit, thats all you can do.

Next time she may kill the kid in order to 'punish' herself.