So Close.,and yet...........

[Moz]

many years ago ..
down in London ...
one weekend another site my pal Rob ,wanted a jobbing plumber for a sagging job , on a conversion done quick the bitch was going mental ..

as I was reciding in me an my mates home .. a WONDERFUL VW camper

I told him on the brick mobile .. I needed a lift to the job , he sent his a mate , a young trev ,in a new transit...

we turned up at job , this blonde piece comes out screeching , an wailing ....
we go in an she had stuffed the wc pan with hand towels ..I explained this wasnt really a snagging job as SHE hadd caused the problem ...OH MY GOD


she went off on one
as I got my tools together ...an loaded the van ....

she was screeching at the passenger window as I rang Rob .. he said "clear it an come away its not a snagging but shes a right C*** ,

I told young un trev go clear, come back she wouldnt let him , only ..ME

I thought I get you lady ,.. lol

went straight in her kitchen got /demanded a black bin liner ...which she gave ..
went upstairs hand down in bog an fished out towel an then revereased into bag ...bish/boshed with 6 " plunger on rod ..glug ..glug all gone ..


after this this blonde bimbo was all over me an trev , gushing an lovely ...
FACK OFF SLAAAAG .....
I told this "lady" that certain things had happened an what to say ... an if show goes to this local plumb shop (who I know had colour cams an speach security ..)

only 2 weeks later this blonde celeb had walked into this plumb merchant an said in a very funny accent
"Hello I need a bowel cleaning.. I have towels in my bowels "

stevie/G you what love ??????????????
he stuck what ????????????(eyeing very fit bird talking ****e ..LOl)

...he stuck a rod in my bowels an dirty bowels were gone ....


well how big was it .. ??

erm ... metres an thrusting.. an woah gone !!

they were seven more exchanges but as this CELEB , once famous got the plumb shop tape banned/securing orders an any mention of such
other mention ...lol BOLL*CKS, it had her dropping her knickers/jeans which she did .. as
pubic hair can clog ..LOL THAt IS THE BEST !

her SHOWING HER MUFF TOO COUNTER PLUMB STAFF WETHER HER FUTURE MUFF HAIR IS TO LONG ..LOL


the celeb .. well she was linked with a Ex Blue Peter Presenter . ..who she destroyed his career , some fat athletes on a rubbish show , Erricksen , Mr Wright , + pop bitch calls her the "poison dwarf" as she is only 5ft ..lol

I wonder who it is Faria allam ..lol

 

[noodlz]

BAS Will be forwarding that to the lady in question

Moz...love it! Saw this celeb, I'llsuckya Johnson, I think her name was, with Mr Wrong'un(again!) at a Nora Jones concert...was that a boring night! One of girls went with bumped into her accidentally on purpose in the loos...why do people do that? Brush with fame, I suppose! I'llsuckya should carry a govt health warning...this woman can seriously screw up your head! But probably not same woman u talking about (me lawyers tell me) Great to hear you took the mick. That tape has to be shown...pleeeze get a copy...just for us, honest

One of my dad's builder mate, let's call him Bob, told me about this time they were doing some painting at my dad's place and another friend of theirs came round and told Bob to put a pot of my dad's paint his way on the sly. So Bob tells him okay come back at the end of the day, I'll leave a pot out back with the rubbish.

End of day came and he collected his pot...b*gger!

...but what he didn't know is that Bob had told my dad about this and had a plan

They took an empty pot of paint and spent the whole day relieving themselves in it

Funny...the lowdown tealeaf could never say anything

At least he had a pot to p*ss in