So what do single people do on Valentine's

[M-O-R]

Valentines:

Well... i did exactly what i said i was gonna do.

Put my feet up, put the Liverpool v Arsenal game on.

Watched my beloved gunners get thumped by the scousers. Ate some dinner. Got stoned and went bed about 11:30.

My mate came round an all - but he aint single - just dumps his bird every valentines / bday / x-mas coz he's a bit of a **** to her - which i suppose i find mildy amusing.

Was cheered up though by an old flame this morning who's itching to see me. Think i'll play it cool for a while. Get her begging first. ha ha

M-O-R

 

[hermes]

My mate came round an all - but he aint single - just dumps his bird every valentines / bday / x-mas coz he's a bit of a c**t to her

Lovely friends you have.

 

[AdamW]

said on the breakfast news this morning 50% of married men have extra marital relationships and 25% of women many with their partners approval

If only 25% of women are having affairs, and 50% of men - that leaves a shortfall of 25% of women - so who exactly are the remaining 25% of men having affairs with

It means that either those men are having affairs with each other, or those women are having affairs with more men!!!

Although, I once read a survey where the results were something like "The men surveyed claimed to have an average of 10 previous sexual partners, the women claimed 5."

So, either men exaggerate, women deprecate, or men and women claim different things. Like a man might class a quick fumble as an affair, but a woman would class it as having never happened

According to another survey I read in a "lads mag", women are more likely to exaggerate the size of a (current?) partner's dingaling, more than the partner will.

 

[Gary_M]

According to another survey I read in a "lads mag", women are more likely to exaggerate the size of a (current?) partner's dingaling, more than the partner will.

.................I can live with that

 

[Pensdown]

Probably same as us old married couples. Cook dinner, eat dinner whilst watching tv. He falls asleep I burger off to the computer, kids argue and wake him up, he slopes off to bed. Much the smae as any other night really except tonight the kids are at an Oasis gig and he woke himself up snoring

What no rumpy pumpy A few tips

Cook dinner

Cook his favorite meal but only wear your best slippers, you know, the ones he likes

eat dinner whilst watching tv

Put on a film, Eastenders is not good. 9 1/2 weeks may work but if he's a bit older try Sound of music umm Mary Poppins always works

He falls asleep I burger off to the computer

Let him rest a while, he will need it

kids argue and wake him up, he slopes off to bed. Much the smae as any other night really except tonight the kids are at an Oasis gig

Kids are out, that's a Bonus, you can now make some noise

and he woke himself up snoring

He was not snoring. Thats a mans sign of high arousal and you missed it

See it was your own fault

 

[Brightness]

PMSL so next time he snores am I to grab his bits and wake him up with one heck of a fright? He might think I've turned into Mrs Bobbitt and we all know what she did

 

[Moz]

Brightness= dreary day dream YAWN ...lol

those cards tips were Viz way back ,

an for those sad pathetics ...

TURN OFF PUTER ....GET OUT ..GO PUB ...

If you are NOBBy NO MATEs ....

Be CONFIDENT ... 100 people pass you in a night in a pub, an if you smile nicely (slogger except !)
say "Hi , busy tonight isnt it !"
an change the "HELLO" spiel "
you will get someone who after 1 trip asks "are you alone !?????"

You Say .."Yeah I err ...
I...
split from my G/F..maybe I need company ...

split from my B/F..maybe I need company ...

I was after a quiet do .. after last week end ,WHHOA ...lol but your crowd look fun are you out for the night ..?(you are a party guy/funbobby your invited over )

male saddo for female ...
I..err... lost someone ..close recent .. but you cheer me up thankyou..

female saddo for male ..
I went through a bad split up 18months ago , he was a bully an I did ANYTHING for him an I havent been in company with a man since, an Im a real woman ..you know ...!

things for sad singles on marrieds to know ...
you are easy meat ...KNOW THIS AN LEARN ...

all blokes will spiel ... how far depends ...
if knickers round ankles are your NO ... we will expect to see you either screaming rape /or met a loonie who shallow buries you..


another lie ..

All females are Single ...
as hubby is on mobile , as you an the footie team lads have her over a car in the carpark then slope off as she is awash in ...urrgh

anyway hope my guide will help the sad monkies here .. except slogger / freddie .. who enjoy the Boy love at BNP

take care have fun ...

 

[markie]

Nice to see/read you back moz.

 

[Moz]

markie
YEAH OK ....

 

[Brightness]

PMSL Moz, it's OK I'm not planning to go out on the pull. My dogs keep me company when the old man is snoring his head off.

Our little rescue dog has started 'coming out of his shell' all of a sudden & when he plays with his toys he throws them in the air and then chases them.

Earlier, hubby was sat in the chair snoring away (been in from work all of 10 minutes ) Little one threw his toy and it landed with a wallop on hubby's head Dog sat there barking at hubby to give his toy back and hubby wondered what the heck was going on. Me and the kids were in fits laughing

He looked so stupid sat there with this beanie cat on his head Little things please little minds and all that

 

[Gary_M]

.........Our little rescue dog has started 'coming out of his shell' ................

Sorry to disappoint you, but you've been conned - someone's given you a turtle/tortoise/terrapin, or if it is quite small and leaves a trail on your carpet, a snail

 

[notb665]

.........Our little rescue dog has started 'coming out of his shell' ................

Sorry to disappoint you, but you've been conned - someone's given you a turtle/tortoise/terrapin, or if it is quite small and leaves a trail on your carpet, a snail

 

[Brightness]

 

[Moz]

There are many WILD THINGS HERE

I predict a riot...ALL NAMES GIVEN .... YOUR HAVE LET 1 LADY /2 MEN /
around the house ...as the man was watched ... ..lol


artic monkeys ..


I love it ...

this...... "cheers" ... is awful .... goodnees .. I was a drunk/HELP ..
I feel beterr than before /I still feel /want a fight with the pirates
sorry // .......................................cant as I was told by police :0 :0

I helped the band , an it was , on ON a "VID "

2005 , I was helping , cases ...cases ...cases ...cases ...
..cases ...cases ...cases .

= :0 .....wpc .....lady cop .. ask for asian

 

[Brightness]

OK Moz, translate....

Were you in a video with The arctic Monkeys or with the Kaiser Chiefs?

Eldest sons mate is the guitarist in Son of Dork and he's also mates with Aiden. He slept on their tour bus all last weekend