looking at the plan stem sent of wiring i'm just missing cable going from terminal 7 to HW off on programmer... am i right? surely that's not all it needs?
Quite likely. The 'hot water off' connection is provided to tell the motorised valve to wind fully across to the heating only position. You definitely need it with a three port valve.
The 'hot water off' connection should go to the grey wire of the motorised valve.