Toilet paper

[securespark]

OOOOOOOOOH, MATRON......!!

 

[aussie1]

what is the point of wiping your bum anyway it only gets dirty again

 

[Handyman]

Well, presumably, the point is (according to Andrex anyway) is that the process now enables you to apply vitamin E to your ring-piece, which gives you some added benefit and makes the job more worthwhile.

 

[kendor]

The latest theories suggest it is a waste of time taking Vitamin E(and many others) in any form apart from food/veg as the body will not absorb it properly, has this been disproved?

 

[Handyman]

Perhaps they've discovered that vitamin E can be absorbed sphinctorially?

 

[waran]

kendor,

not sure about the absorption bit but the jury is still out on vit E. Has been linked to preventing some cancers (prostate, lung, stomach, other bowel) and atherosclerosis but not enough evidence.

How about a DIYNOT trial? Handyman tries vit E on his arse for a week and you try Tesco's value range and see who's got the softest botty at the end...... Not sure how to get an independent adjudicator though. Perhaps the Chardonnay would oblige?

 

[kendor]

kendor,

not sure about the absorption bit but the jury is still out on vit E. Has been linked to preventing some cancers (prostate, lung, stomach, other bowel) and atherosclerosis but not enough evidence.

How about a DIYNOT trial? Handyman tries vit E on his **** for a week and you try Tesco's value range and see who's got the softest botty at the end...... Not sure how to get an independent adjudicator though. Perhaps the Chardonnay would oblige?

I dont think he or she would want to drink it after where it's been

 

[AdamW]

Wouldn't it be a more effective test to get SWMBO to try the vitamin enriched botty-wipes?

That you get to fondle a lady's bottom to check for skin softness and suppleness in the name of science.

I have found, however, that if you have a particularly steamy bathroom (as mine becomes in winter) the exposure to steam seems to soften the paper over the course of however long a roll lasts.

 

[securespark]

Ta-da!!

This is the very technical (yawn) response from KC about Andrex+Vit E...

Dear Mr. Abbott,

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding ANDREX® with Aloe Vera.

Vitmain E is used many skincare products - both body & facial, and because
of its high profile, we have included it within the Andrex with Aloe Vera
product.

Kimberly Clark does not claim any specific benefits by this inclusion.

Thank you for your interest in Kimberly Clark.

Regards,


Sylver Burrows
Consumer Services Department

 

[Handyman]

Excellent, Securespark.

I used to make this sort of enquiry when I was office based. Don't have time now, unfortunately. I used to love to read what dumb-arsed answers people sent.

Great stuff!

 

[securespark]

Yeah, basically what they are saying is that it is a cynical "Everyone else uses it so lets jump on the bandwagon and hope that people say Ooh look Vit E lets buy it!!" ploy to sell more.

Note: Kimberly Clark does not claim any specific benefits by this inclusion.

IE, we've put it in to sell our bog paper but it does naff all!!

 

[AdamW]

Yes, but you can't really question their motives! I much prefer an honest answer like that than:

"enriched with microbeads to dechlerorate your hair, strip away free radicals and remove funkium mingate"

And why is it that most hair/skin products list in the ingredients "aqua"? Is this because they don't want people to read the label and go "ah, 90% water then." Is it even legal to call it aqua instead of water?

Thank you for your interest in Kimberly Clark.

Seriously, if you are chasing Kimberly, you shouldn't be posting on here as your wife might see it. Lovely girl, Miss Clark. She has SOFT skin, LONG hair and is THOROUGHLY ABSORBENT of my every word during conversation (it was hard to avoid a damp-patch joke, but I steered clear)

 

[securespark]

She also has a silky smooth sphincter...

Yes, it is legal to call water Aqua. It is cynical to do this as you point out: it sounds MUCH better than water!

From the latin, as well you know!

Clairol go one step further, "pure mountain spring water"....... I ask you!!

 

[AdamW]

Yet they can sell wine without having to include in the ingredients, "the cheesy bits off the feet of the peasants what did tread on all them grapes."