Owd Goodwin that I knew left this earth in the 80's. He smoked fifty untipped fags a day, had yellow fingers and wore an old 1960's style nylon tracksuit that was dirty yellow (to match his fingers I presume) with two white stripes down the sides of the arms and legs with unidentifiable stains. During cross country he had a sawn off cricket bat (eight inches of bat sawn off but keeping the handle) which he wore in his belt like a firemans axe. If you weren't putting in the effort he would bang your backside with it to make you run faster. Poor Largey got chased and whacked most Monday mornings.
A mate of mine at school called Marshall came to school one Monday morning excitedly telling me that he'd met this really fit girl in town on Saturday (kids used to hang around the record shops) and she was 'up for it'. She'd said for him to meet her in town the next Saturday and they could go to her mum and dads house who would be away all that day. So at home time on friday I bid Marshall 'good luck' and instructed him to tell me all the gory details Monday morning.
Monday morning I couldn't wait to see Marshall and hear what happened. It transpires that yes this bird did meet him in town, and yes they did get the bus back to her parents house. He was snogging her on the sofa trying to undo her bra with one hand when a car pulled up on the drive. She said her mum and dad were back early so Marshall re-arranged himself on the sofa. He heard the front door open and the dog barking. Next minute in walks Mr. Goodwin the games teacher who shouted 'Marshall what are you doing with my daughter?!'
I still laugh about it now.