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Gary_M said:JulieL/B said:
Are you hinting?
Now, Now Gary don't be cheeky!!!
Just asking - as I've a preference myself.......to be cremated
Mind you I did see something on Countryfile about a year ago - they were talking about environmentally friendly buriels - they buried you in a field, with a cardboard box as a coffin no headstone or marking - seemed a bit more eco friendly........worth a thought
or maybe Ill get buried at sea - on the Bridgewater Canal!!!! 
M
Moz
new script an boards ...hhhm
oh I forget thats quiet ......Satan in asking
its a joke...lol ..lol
btw I see the scum are massing take care .......hate to see you fallen to the facists ...I doubt it....knowing you ....CHEERS
take care
best regards ,
love you all here.... so much ...
moz
oh I forget thats quiet ......Satan in asking
its a joke...lol ..lol
btw I see the scum are massing take care .......hate to see you fallen to the facists ...I doubt it....knowing you ....CHEERS
take care
best regards ,
love you all here.... so much ...
moz
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JohnD said:
£4.25 p/h if he's lucky
B
BOB.DOLE
JulieL/B said:
well julie when i pop my cloggs they will freeze my body and especialy my brain and put it in a museuem as a display of perfection to show the perfect example of a human being
BOB.DOLE said:
I have just copied this from a site about cremation.....
What happens to the coffin?
The Code of Cremation Practice requires that the coffin is placed in the cremator in exactly the same condition as that in which it was received at the crematorium. Crematorium regulations require that the coffin and all its fittings and furnishings are made from combustible material.
What happens in the cremation procedure?
The coffin is placed in the cremator and a very intense heat reduces it to ashes. The ashes fall into a container, which is removed and left to cool. Any metals, such as medical implants, are removed for burial. The ashes are then rendered into a fine powder and transferred to the final container.
How can one be assured that the remains are kept separate?
Although the crematorium may have the facilities for carrying out more than one cremation at a time, each is carried out in a separate unit (or 'cremator"), which is not physically capable of taking more than one coffin. The design of cremators means that all remains must be removed before the cremator can be used again. An identity card accompanies the coffin and cremated remains throughout every stage of the cremation process.
Taken from http://www.thompsonfunerals.ie/cremation.htm#15
B
breezer
if you really want to know what happens read on...............
most of what has been written is true, but it goes like this.
when the poor basket dies, and the cause of death is known (or found after autopsy) the deceased is basiclay drained of all bodily fluids, which are replced with a chemical concoction (embalming fluid to you and me)
Pacemaker and similar are removed at this time (if the deceased had one, i also believe any silicone is too as it turns "gooey")
ALL orifices are also filled (usually with cotton wool)
make up is applied to the deceased to make them look more alive, a corpse has no colour, since all the blood drains to the lowest part at the time of death, so if you are sitting in a chair and snuff it, the blood runs to your legs (you get the idea)
The deceased is put in a coffin and you may visit to pay your last repects if you wish. One word of advice, DON'T touch the deceased.
The reason is that it is best to leave your loved ones as you remeber them, touching them when they are laid to rest, you will find that they are STONE COLD, it may come as a shock to you to find your loved one is stone cold, they look just like they are asleep (but they don't snore)
At the crematoriun, when the curtains close, the coffin either goes down on a lift, or is taken away when you have gone.
if the crematorium is busy it may be a while before the coffin is cremated.
when its time for cremation the coffin is slid in to the oven, the name of the deceased is checked and a lable put on the door of the deceased.
The gas is then lit and and the coffin is left to burn, nowdays the handles are often plastic so they are not rmoved.
the time taken depends on the mass of the deceased.
as the body / coffin burns it falls through a "grid" onto a tray, when cool the tray and its contents are withdrawn form the "oven" often they will then run a magnet over it to remove any metal, nails, hip joints etc.
after this has been done the tray contents are swept into a "box" this box is then taken to what looks like a tumble drier at an angle, (the name of the deceased is also taken along) the empty tray is put back into the "oven" for the next deceased person
the box is then emptied into this tumble drier, it has (as said) large steel balls in the drum. the lid is put on and the tumble drier switched on, the balls crush any bones etc that remain, bearing in mind they are now some what brittle.
when this is done the contents and sweepings are put into an urn or minature casket (and the name of the deceased) it is then given to the relatives for their prior aranged disposal.
useless facts:
up to 2 of you have the legal right (prior arangemnet) to watch the actual creamtion if you so wish (but as also been said whole familys sometimes watch.
there is a little door on the oven you can open to watch, but dont get too close, its very hot.
there is a bit more but it is too "gory" to tell on a public forum (so dont ask)
I know this becuse i have seen quite a few cremations at various stages, but i could not bring myself to watch my late fathers cremation, but i was PROUD to put him in his final resting place.
Death is not nice, but it is inevitable, if you have to bury a loved one, i am sorry. But do the honourable thing, ask to help carry the coffin when it comes from the hearse to the church, and again to the crematorium, my brother and i did, and i am PROUD to say so. (my brother was too)
most of what has been written is true, but it goes like this.
when the poor basket dies, and the cause of death is known (or found after autopsy) the deceased is basiclay drained of all bodily fluids, which are replced with a chemical concoction (embalming fluid to you and me)
Pacemaker and similar are removed at this time (if the deceased had one, i also believe any silicone is too as it turns "gooey")
ALL orifices are also filled (usually with cotton wool)
make up is applied to the deceased to make them look more alive, a corpse has no colour, since all the blood drains to the lowest part at the time of death, so if you are sitting in a chair and snuff it, the blood runs to your legs (you get the idea)
The deceased is put in a coffin and you may visit to pay your last repects if you wish. One word of advice, DON'T touch the deceased.
The reason is that it is best to leave your loved ones as you remeber them, touching them when they are laid to rest, you will find that they are STONE COLD, it may come as a shock to you to find your loved one is stone cold, they look just like they are asleep (but they don't snore)
At the crematoriun, when the curtains close, the coffin either goes down on a lift, or is taken away when you have gone.
if the crematorium is busy it may be a while before the coffin is cremated.
when its time for cremation the coffin is slid in to the oven, the name of the deceased is checked and a lable put on the door of the deceased.
The gas is then lit and and the coffin is left to burn, nowdays the handles are often plastic so they are not rmoved.
the time taken depends on the mass of the deceased.
as the body / coffin burns it falls through a "grid" onto a tray, when cool the tray and its contents are withdrawn form the "oven" often they will then run a magnet over it to remove any metal, nails, hip joints etc.
after this has been done the tray contents are swept into a "box" this box is then taken to what looks like a tumble drier at an angle, (the name of the deceased is also taken along) the empty tray is put back into the "oven" for the next deceased person
the box is then emptied into this tumble drier, it has (as said) large steel balls in the drum. the lid is put on and the tumble drier switched on, the balls crush any bones etc that remain, bearing in mind they are now some what brittle.
when this is done the contents and sweepings are put into an urn or minature casket (and the name of the deceased) it is then given to the relatives for their prior aranged disposal.
useless facts:
up to 2 of you have the legal right (prior arangemnet) to watch the actual creamtion if you so wish (but as also been said whole familys sometimes watch.
there is a little door on the oven you can open to watch, but dont get too close, its very hot.
there is a bit more but it is too "gory" to tell on a public forum (so dont ask)
I know this becuse i have seen quite a few cremations at various stages, but i could not bring myself to watch my late fathers cremation, but i was PROUD to put him in his final resting place.
Death is not nice, but it is inevitable, if you have to bury a loved one, i am sorry. But do the honourable thing, ask to help carry the coffin when it comes from the hearse to the church, and again to the crematorium, my brother and i did, and i am PROUD to say so. (my brother was too)
Breezer go on tell us what else happens. I am not gory, I am just interested as I have always fancied working for an undertaker - it's a fact of life that we will all die and I believe in being well informed.
I did always think though that bodies were only embalmed if they were being buried - I thought they didn't do it if they were being cremated.
My mate's dad used to be an undertaker and he's told me loads about it. It's a very interesting profession
I did always think though that bodies were only embalmed if they were being buried - I thought they didn't do it if they were being cremated.
My mate's dad used to be an undertaker and he's told me loads about it. It's a very interesting profession
by some strange co-incidence i'm just reading a book called 'stiff' by mary Roach that is all about what exactly happens to human bodies after death, both now and in the past. most of the book is about what happens to bodies that are 'left' to science. apparently only a small percentage are used for what you might expect, teaching medical students. the vast majority are used for commercial testing - this can include testing outfits for bomb disposal workers, being smacked against toughened glass for windscreen specification even being left lying around in a feild to study the stages of decay for forensic police work - many end up providing collagen for penis enlargement and cosmetic surgery - despite the subject it is a witty engrossing (excuse the pun) book.
anyway there is a description of a cremation from a 1963 book 'the chemistry of death' by WED Evans (pre 1984 copyright act so its ok to quote)
the skin and hair at once scorch, char and burn. Heat coagulation of muscle protein may become evident at this stage, causing the muscles to slowly contract, and there may be a steady divarication of the thighs with gradually developing flexation of the limbs. (note saying that the cadaver sitting up has not been witnessed and is likely a myth).
occasionaly there is swelling of the abdomen before the skin and abdominal muscles char and split: the swelling is due to steam and the expansion of gasses in the abdominal cavity.
Destruction of the soft tissues gradually exposes parts of the skeleton. The skull is soon devoid of covering, then the bones of the limbs appear... The abdominal contents burn fairly slowly, and the lungs more slowly still. It has been observed that the brain is especially resistant to complete combustion. Even when the vault of the skull has broken and fallen away the brain has been seen as a dark fused mass with a rather sticky consistency... Eventually the spine becomes visible as the viscera dissapear, the bones glow whitely in the flames and the skeleton falls apart.
this discription isnt the authors - she has a far more wry style - like here in the opening paragraph.
'the way I see it, being dead is not terribly far off from being on a cruise ship. Most of your time is spent on your back. The brain has shut down. the flesh begins to soften. nothing much new happens, and nothing is expected of you.'
anyway there is a description of a cremation from a 1963 book 'the chemistry of death' by WED Evans (pre 1984 copyright act so its ok to quote)
the skin and hair at once scorch, char and burn. Heat coagulation of muscle protein may become evident at this stage, causing the muscles to slowly contract, and there may be a steady divarication of the thighs with gradually developing flexation of the limbs. (note saying that the cadaver sitting up has not been witnessed and is likely a myth).
occasionaly there is swelling of the abdomen before the skin and abdominal muscles char and split: the swelling is due to steam and the expansion of gasses in the abdominal cavity.
Destruction of the soft tissues gradually exposes parts of the skeleton. The skull is soon devoid of covering, then the bones of the limbs appear... The abdominal contents burn fairly slowly, and the lungs more slowly still. It has been observed that the brain is especially resistant to complete combustion. Even when the vault of the skull has broken and fallen away the brain has been seen as a dark fused mass with a rather sticky consistency... Eventually the spine becomes visible as the viscera dissapear, the bones glow whitely in the flames and the skeleton falls apart.
this discription isnt the authors - she has a far more wry style - like here in the opening paragraph.
'the way I see it, being dead is not terribly far off from being on a cruise ship. Most of your time is spent on your back. The brain has shut down. the flesh begins to soften. nothing much new happens, and nothing is expected of you.'
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