Your neighbour is a cretin. As Woody said if you were building the houses today you wouldn't build one wall and then build a separate wall alongside it, you'd have a shared party wall, the extension is no different.
If you are both building an extension at the same time I do not see why you need a party wall surveyor at all, you should both assent to each other's notices. If you are thinking of using the surveyor to draw up a new party wall agreement then try to get a fixed fee quote. It really shouldn't be any more than £500 but sadly their are some absolute sharks out their who just take the ****. I read yesterday about a chap who charges £320/hour!
If you are both building an extension at the same time I do not see why you need a party wall surveyor at all, you should both assent to each other's notices. If you are thinking of using the surveyor to draw up a new party wall agreement then try to get a fixed fee quote. It really shouldn't be any more than £500 but sadly their are some absolute sharks out their who just take the ****. I read yesterday about a chap who charges £320/hour!