Child's behaviour... (Sorry for long post)

[Orchid2021]

Great hun

I am so happy for you and your family. your little man seems to be settling in. The behaviour specialist sounds reassuring.

I like the fact that you had a good chat with him and then left it.

If I can leave one snippet of advice for all fantastic parents, because you are all doing a great job; it is that when we say to our children they can’t do anything, have anything , go anywhere always give a reason why.
Eg. It’s pouring outside but the child wants to ride their bike and the tantrum starts; instead of saying ‘No you can’t ride your bike it’s raining’; say something like ‘I know you enjoy riding your bike and you really want to go out and you don’t mind getting wet, but it could make you poorly; let’s wait for the rain to settle and then you can go out’

lots of love

 

[johnny2007]

If I can leave one snippet of advice for all fantastic parents, because you are all doing a great job; it is that when we say to our children they can’t do anything, have anything , go anywhere always give a reason why.
Eg. It’s pouring outside but the child wants to ride their bike and the tantrum starts; instead of saying ‘No you can’t ride your bike it’s raining’; say something like ‘I know you enjoy riding your bike and you really want to go out and you don’t mind getting wet, but it could make you poorly; let’s wait for the rain to settle and then you can go out’

lots of love

Or...
do like my mum did:
"Yes, go out, get wet and when you're sick I'm gonna take you to hospital and abandon you there" To these days I'm terrified of getting wet and sick and always wear a vest, even in summer

Or...
My style:
"Yes, go ahead. Your immune system will get stronger "
This seemed to work as my kids were very very rarely sick.

 

[big-all]

the more i look at this thread the more i think not enough effort initially went into finding the facts and what was in the childs head
it seems by default bad child scold parents rather than
the school investigate spend time with child talking at a immature pally way almost giggle at what has happened to find what happened adults must act like small children to communicate at a level that allows them to talk freely especially in a new world where they are over powered with new sensations feelings and restrictions they dont understand
they may also have far far more social contact than they know how to handle and react in a bazaar way as its there way off coping its the adults job to interperate this and reassure the child first and "note to parent" about problem and action planned
and not to report to the parents strange behaviour throwing the ball into the parent lap when the first action should always be the school spending time to understand??

 

[transam]

We have worked for several teachers over the years
Several retired early due to stress related issues (?)

Those all worked in the state sector

threatened and verbally abused by pupils
Car vandalised
Threatened and verbally abused by parents

One teacher had several polish children in her class / school and stated that she wished the entire class was full of polish children as there attitude and behaviour made them a joy to teach

 

[Justin Passing]

Bit of an update...

...

So it seems we might have turned a corner, had a quick chat with the behaviour specialist as she also runs the breakfast club, she didn't go into detail but said she doesn't think there is anything to worry about and to give it a bit more time.

Good.

 

[securespark]

Or...
do like my mum did:
"Yes, go out, get wet and when you're sick I'm gonna take you to hospital and abandon you there" To these days I'm terrified of getting wet and sick and always wear a vest, even in summer

In the 70s, my Mum said to us,
"If you fall off that #thing# and break both your legs, don't come running to me."
And then wondered why we fell about laughing....

 

[sxturbo]

We have worked for several teachers over the years
Several retired early due to stress related issues (?)

Those all worked in the state sector

threatened and verbally abused by pupils
Car vandalised
Threatened and verbally abused by parents

One teacher had several polish children in her class / school and stated that she wished the entire class was full of polish children as there attitude and behaviour made them a joy to teach

Not by a 4 year old though I'd imagine lol

A secondary school teacher is a thankless task, I certainly couldn't do it.

 

[Swwils]

Nice, get that silver certificate on the wall!

 

[Justin Passing]

Relative teachers told me that they don't want CCTV in the classroom.
Their reason isn't what one might think.........

 

[sxturbo]

A further update

Had parents evening on Wednesday, teacher was full of positivity, was really complementary, and said he far exceeded where he needed to be with his maths reading and speech, but was about average with his writing.

We were proud as punch..

But I had to ask about his behaviour, and she completely glossed over it ànd said oh we don't need to talk about that there's nothing to worry about, he's been really good since the last incident and it was probably just a phase.

I was a little annoyed that such a meal had been made out of his behaviour especially when talking about getting the behavioural specialist to have a word with him and then not discuss it in further detail with us face to face.

Her parting comment was keep doing what your doing it's obviously working and they were pleased to have him at the school.

So we left proud, and a little mystified,

 

[Notch7]

r, had a quick chat with the behaviour specialist as she also runs the breakfast club, she didn't go into detail but said she doesn't think there is anything to worry about and to give it a bit more time

professional advice from an objective observer

 

[johnny2007]

they were pleased to have him at the school.

They must be pleased.
It's a public school, they can't pick and choose which pupils can and cannot attend.
Teachers...the most overrated profession.

 

[charliegolf]

Teachers...the most overrated profession.

You are of course entitled to your opinion. All the more so since you play such an important part in funding my 'gold-plated' pension. Thank you.

 

[johnny2007]

You are of course entitled to your opinion. All the more so since you play such an important part in funding my 'gold-plated' pension. Thank you.

I contributed to your gold pot for over 40 years.
If you're a teacher, bear in mind that parents are opening their eyes and finding out that you're not doing what you're supposed to do.
Giving flying pieces of paper to children so their parents can go crazy trying to teach them the subject or worse, pay a tutor, is not teaching.

 

[charliegolf]

Once again, my thanks.