Gas cooker installation
- Thread starter Alextom
- Start date
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The only thing I've actually done that has not been checked by a Corgiman is to attach the bayonet.
I would suggest, Bob, that anyone who believes in threatening violence because someones position differs to their own is the moran. You have made one contribution to this 'discussion' and you talk about punching me.
And don't tell me it's a joke. I've come across enough 'jokers' and their 'jokes' to know the difference.
You are aptly named (although you probably don't know why).
I would suggest, Bob, that anyone who believes in threatening violence because someones position differs to their own is the moran. You have made one contribution to this 'discussion' and you talk about punching me.
And don't tell me it's a joke. I've come across enough 'jokers' and their 'jokes' to know the difference.
You are aptly named (although you probably don't know why).
Could we just spell moron correctly though please before anyone starts fighting! Think they both missed your point cucumber 
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I have spent the evening reading through the forum and have noticed a lot of common themes:
"I want some advice on doing something to my gas installation"
"My advice is PAY A CORGI REGISTERED GUY LOADS OF MONEY OR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL SURELY ALL DIE IN A HUGE FIREBALL!!"
"But I only wanted advice on cleaning the hob"
"EXACTLY MY POINT, USE A CORGI REGISTERED GUY OR YOU WILL BURN"
etc. etc. etc.
Well, here's something for you all to chew on:
More people die each year in the UK from food poisoning than die in gas related incidents.
Yes, boys and girls, you stand more chance of being killed by something cooked on your gas cooker than being killed by the gas installation itself... Regardless of who plugged the ruddy bayonet connector in and whatever royal lapdog his qualification is named after.
I am in the process of starting a new national registration scheme called the 'Council for Registered Food Users' or 'CORFU'.
Hopefully it will soon be illegal for anyone not 'CORFU' registered to prepare any kind of food using an oven or hob.
It will work like this:
you go to the supermarket and buy some sausages (a good example because Botulism, one of the deadliest food borne illnesses, is named after the latin word for sausage).
Before you can actually cook them you have to call a CORFU registered contractor. He will make you wait a couple of weeks, turn up late, drink a lot of tea, scratch himself a lot, look at your sausages, explain why they are not quite the right colour and texture and stick a red label on them saying they are not for human consumption.
He will return a week later with more sausages, which look exactly the same as the old ones, cook them for you (this will take several hours) then serve them to you. You will then receive an invoice for £1000 and a nice bit of paper saying that you have eaten safe sausages.
The small print on the bit of paper says that you may get botulism anyway but at least you have been registered as a legal sausage eater on some big government computer.
When you finally have to sell one of your kidneys to pay for your food to be cooked for you it will be necessary to provide the recipient with a certificate to say that everything you have eaten is 'CORFU' certified and everyone will be happy.
Strangely you will still notice that a majority of people who die of food poisoning did so while eating 'CORFU' certified food, but that's the nanny state for you.
"I want some advice on doing something to my gas installation"
"My advice is PAY A CORGI REGISTERED GUY LOADS OF MONEY OR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY WILL SURELY ALL DIE IN A HUGE FIREBALL!!"
"But I only wanted advice on cleaning the hob"
"EXACTLY MY POINT, USE A CORGI REGISTERED GUY OR YOU WILL BURN"
etc. etc. etc.
Well, here's something for you all to chew on:
More people die each year in the UK from food poisoning than die in gas related incidents.
Yes, boys and girls, you stand more chance of being killed by something cooked on your gas cooker than being killed by the gas installation itself... Regardless of who plugged the ruddy bayonet connector in and whatever royal lapdog his qualification is named after.
I am in the process of starting a new national registration scheme called the 'Council for Registered Food Users' or 'CORFU'.
Hopefully it will soon be illegal for anyone not 'CORFU' registered to prepare any kind of food using an oven or hob.
It will work like this:
you go to the supermarket and buy some sausages (a good example because Botulism, one of the deadliest food borne illnesses, is named after the latin word for sausage).
Before you can actually cook them you have to call a CORFU registered contractor. He will make you wait a couple of weeks, turn up late, drink a lot of tea, scratch himself a lot, look at your sausages, explain why they are not quite the right colour and texture and stick a red label on them saying they are not for human consumption.
He will return a week later with more sausages, which look exactly the same as the old ones, cook them for you (this will take several hours) then serve them to you. You will then receive an invoice for £1000 and a nice bit of paper saying that you have eaten safe sausages.
The small print on the bit of paper says that you may get botulism anyway but at least you have been registered as a legal sausage eater on some big government computer.
When you finally have to sell one of your kidneys to pay for your food to be cooked for you it will be necessary to provide the recipient with a certificate to say that everything you have eaten is 'CORFU' certified and everyone will be happy.
Strangely you will still notice that a majority of people who die of food poisoning did so while eating 'CORFU' certified food, but that's the nanny state for you.
Trouble is matey you forgotton one little detail...I don't give toss if you or my neighbours kill themselves with food poisoning it doesn't effect me or anyone else. They plumb in their hob and have a gas leak - bang my flat comes down as well
I think you're also forgetting the tens of thousands of people each year who were killed or suffered injuries from an unregulated gas industry.
Go and talk to the older generation - they will tell you all about the lethal gas water heaters in bathrroms etc. I know some who were found unconscious in the bath from CO. Going on holiday - well much of Europe is 20 years behind us in terms of gas safety - as last years incident showed.
You must bear in mind there are many arogant home owners who have so much self belief they will blindly install their gas hob with no regard to safety whatsoever. I know several just like that - one didn't even bother using olives on his compresion fittings Some use garden hosepipes to connect their hob. How do you propose to stop these characters from inflicting there shoddy practice on us without some form of control?
I think you're also forgetting the tens of thousands of people each year who were killed or suffered injuries from an unregulated gas industry.
Go and talk to the older generation - they will tell you all about the lethal gas water heaters in bathrroms etc. I know some who were found unconscious in the bath from CO. Going on holiday - well much of Europe is 20 years behind us in terms of gas safety - as last years incident showed.
You must bear in mind there are many arogant home owners who have so much self belief they will blindly install their gas hob with no regard to safety whatsoever. I know several just like that - one didn't even bother using olives on his compresion fittings
Some use garden hosepipes to connect their hob. How do you propose to stop these characters from inflicting there shoddy practice on us without some form of control?snot a bad idea. i nt to a travellers site last year on a cooker warranty job. the ***** had connected his lpg cooker using regular garden hose and jubilee clips .
needless to say a FRO'd and and told the site manager he wouldn't let me disocnnect it
.needless to say a FRO'd and and told the site manager he wouldn't let me disocnnect it
I've bought a thing called a scalpel, and some forceps....
Nothing can go wrong can it?
Hey Chris, listen I came across this really cool website
http.www.yeswecandoplasticsurgerytogether.com
do you think you could make me more handsome than Kev?
why cant it be made legal for only registered installers to be able to buy gas appliances and tools specifically designed to be used on gas?
i know people would still find ways around it but at least it would emphasize the work they are doing is illegal!
just out of curiosity why did the corgi engineer disconnect the cooker after he had installed it?
i know people would still find ways around it but at least it would emphasize the work they are doing is illegal!
just out of curiosity why did the corgi engineer disconnect the cooker after he had installed it?
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