So we're not wasting any more of each others time, I will try and explain what we want to achieve.
With the boiler on and showing the standard display...
And with the heating control knob set to on; we are then looking at which link will make the heating turn off and on.
This will tell us which terminals we need to connect the heat link to.
If I understand you correctly, every time you have turned the boiler on (giving the above display), the heating has come on, irrespective of the state of the Heat link.
You also say that you haven't removed any links within the boiler, before wiring in the Heat link - this suggests to me that the 24V RT link has been bridging the circuit so far.
If that makes sense -
I would remove all wires from the 230V RT terminals. (I.e. safely isolate the grey wire).
I would remove the 24V RT link.
And then, with the boiler turned on, (showing the standard display; with the heating control knob set to on), I would really hope that the heating
didn't come on.
Please let me know if that makes sense.