So explain it to me without being a dick. Or dont.
Start by telling us what the starting point for "explaining it" should be. Can you cope with, for example, Ohms Law?
Have you bothered to Google for "lead acid battery charging"?
(And frankly, a reference to "magic smoke" is FAR from "being a dick". On that scale, it's about at the level of "are you sure it's plugged in?".)