That's put paid to a theory I had that possibly the TRVs on the other rads were closing before the TRV on the dining rad. The effect of this would be to increase the pressure in the system so the flow rate would slow down. A lower flow rate will give a higher temperature differential, which is what you have.All TRV's are set to maximum. The house never get warm enough to have them lower.
The size of the flame may not be a reliable indicator; the gas rate is.I have never seen the boiler switch to a small flame either on hot water or heating. Does this lead back to DH's original theory on the boiler not being able to modulate low enough?
Let the boiler cool right down and the start it up with the temperature dial set to 9. Make a note of the gas meter reading every 30 seconds until the boiler cuts out. Then work out, by subtraction, how much is used every 30 seconds. If the boiler is modulating correctly, you should find the consumption will stay constant for a period and then start reducing.