When, if ever, or up to what age, is it OK to have sex in front of your own children? Should they be taught that it is something deeply spiritual and emotional and part of a loving relationship between adults, or should it be locked behind a bedroom door? What if they see you at some point? Should you shriek and be embarrassed, or not make a fuss but stop all the huffing and puffing?
Sex in front of kids
- Thread starter notb665
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im begining to worry about you 
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someone said:
Oh come on, that's really bad. Your comments are usually facetious and obnoxious but that's too far. You don't know any details and it isn't your place to comment on my marriage - no-one has been 'naughty' or 'done a runner', and I've only posted this because I do not want her name degraded, she does not deserve it.
If I could dive back in slightly, you should never set out to have sex in front of the kids as some sort of sex-education thing. It is OK to do it with a sleeping baby in a cot beside you (unlikely, but OK), but that is about it. If you get caught, stop. If you are likely to get caught, try to make sure its going to be under a duvet, not up to the buffers in Mummy in the middle of the living room floor.
Having looked back, you mentioned that you had no kids in a previous thread, so does this mean you are talking about a new partner's kids ? If so, put the snake away otherwise you'll find yourself in all sorts of trouble.
EDIT - Ah, just read the last couple of posts - Ignore paragraph 2
Having looked back, you mentioned that you had no kids in a previous thread, so does this mean you are talking about a new partner's kids ? If so, put the snake away otherwise you'll find yourself in all sorts of trouble.
EDIT - Ah, just read the last couple of posts - Ignore paragraph 2
I agree that its ok when a baby is tiny and sleeping in the cot, in the same room as they usually are until 6 months old. However, perhaps if either partner is particularly vocal, then even that wouldnt be ok as the sounds may be mistaken as 'stress' by the baby.
After that I think it should be behind closed door, unless the kids are staying elsewhere for the day/ night.
Even if the children dont see the act, even hearing it can be disturbing.
They can worry that one of the parents are getting hurt, (especially if they are younger)
Also, humiliation is a factor.
In the event of new relationships, then jealousy is also a factor to be considered.
It can be enough at first to deal with someone sharing the same bed as your mum/dad never mind being subjected to seeing or hearing it.
I have discussed 'near misses' with pals, and that a knock first policy is no guarantee that you wont be disturbed!!
I certainly think that sex should be viewed as a healthy pleasurable thing and the subject of both serious, educational talk and also jokey humour.
Most people hate the idea of their parents actually having sex and prefer not to think about it, even if accepting they do.
Also, there is a need to be aware that your kids might hear you and you dont realise it.
They may resent you for that.
At the end of the day, (my opinion), it doesnt matter how much you are like 'best friends' with your kids, you are still their parent and some things remain private for the good of everyone.
Kids seeing touching, (non intimate) hugging, kissing, loving gestures are great..... but the most intimate I think is acceptable is a playful slap on the bottom or something.
notb, sorry, this yr topic/thread/ whatever.. but I equally dont like the idea of hearing or seeing my kids being...er intimate with partners when they grow up!!!! never mind them hearing me!
Also, I think that as johny said, accidently walking in on a couple under the duvet is not like well...er... the other scenario he ..er... described!!
After that I think it should be behind closed door, unless the kids are staying elsewhere for the day/ night.
Even if the children dont see the act, even hearing it can be disturbing.
They can worry that one of the parents are getting hurt, (especially if they are younger)
Also, humiliation is a factor.
In the event of new relationships, then jealousy is also a factor to be considered.
It can be enough at first to deal with someone sharing the same bed as your mum/dad never mind being subjected to seeing or hearing it.
I have discussed 'near misses' with pals, and that a knock first policy is no guarantee that you wont be disturbed!!
I certainly think that sex should be viewed as a healthy pleasurable thing and the subject of both serious, educational talk and also jokey humour.
Most people hate the idea of their parents actually having sex and prefer not to think about it, even if accepting they do.
Also, there is a need to be aware that your kids might hear you and you dont realise it.
They may resent you for that.
At the end of the day, (my opinion), it doesnt matter how much you are like 'best friends' with your kids, you are still their parent and some things remain private for the good of everyone.
Kids seeing touching, (non intimate) hugging, kissing, loving gestures are great..... but the most intimate I think is acceptable is a playful slap on the bottom or something.
notb, sorry, this yr topic/thread/ whatever.. but I equally dont like the idea of hearing or seeing my kids being...er intimate with partners when they grow up!!!! never mind them hearing me!
Also, I think that as johny said, accidently walking in on a couple under the duvet is not like well...er... the other scenario he ..er... described!!
Reminds me of that funny, 99.9999%-likely-to-be-apocryphal story of the woman queueing in a bank with a fractious and fidgety child, who was whining for an ice cream. After she threatened punishment if the child didn't stop, the child said, in a too-loud voice, "If you don't buy me an ice cream I'll tell everybody that I saw you with Daddy's willy in your mouth last night".johnny_t said:
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