A proper wire wound transformer works both ways. If you supply a 12V - 230V transformer with 230V it outputs 12V. Conversely if you feed it with 12V it outputs 230V.
As long as your existing 12V supply is AC, You could feed this into an isolating transformer to switch the relay coil to switch a 230V fan etc.
As the relay is fed through an isolating transformer, even if the relay fails catastrophically and the switching voltage ends up on the coil supply, all you'll get at the shower is a maximum of 12V which is deemed to be safe.
Something like this coupled with a 230V relay and base would do the trick.
Thanks a lot for all the useful info....
This will require some extra work and more importantly, more time to review my electronic knowledge...