wrong time, wrong place

[lifesagasman]

a few years ago, i was working the gas meter exchanges. a woman had an appointment for 5.30. so, i got there and got stuck in. i'd been there about 10 minutes or so, and had the meter out, when the phone rang. the woman answered the phone and talked. it was her sister, calling to say their mum had collapsed and had been rushed into hospital, less than 5 minutes away.
it was a bit of a dilemma as it's not easy to stop part way through a swop-out, with paperwork, e-info and safety etc, so she said i could carry on while she left the house if i wanted. it's always better for the customer to be there so i said i'd be finished in 10 minutes and she decided to wait. 5 minutes later the phone rang again. her sister. their mum had just died. i was absolutely gutted. for safety i had to finish and test, etc, whilst feeling so bad about it, then i drove her to the hospital.
but for a stupid gas meter this woman could have seen her mum one last time. it still haunts me.

 

[obmcfc]

I was walking down road near home one day 15 years ago (actually 15 years ago next week), my dad was across the road on his way to Drs for a checkup and I shouted 'alright, will meet you in 30 mins for a coffee and just waved', he went to Dr got all clear, walked out of surgery and collapsed and died, as I made my way to meet him outside Drs about 20 mins after I had first saw him I thought what's going on here large crowd, ambulance, etc etc, it was my dad on the ground, I am still haunted to this day why didn't I go with him, why didn't I cross the road and give him a hug, why didn't I shout I love you dad (not something I said very often)

The opposite happened with my mum who passed away 16 months ago, she had just been diagnosed with cancer and was due to go into hospital for first round of treatment, was in great spirits on phone etc, I thought oh will surprise her with a visit and stay for a week while in hospital, booked my flight home and didn't tell anyone, just turned up at hospital, she took pneumonia and 3 days later died in my arms, if I hadn't booked the surprise flight wouldn't have been there and really would have broken my heart

Don't put this on to make people feel sad or even sorry for me, I have some wonderful memories, my point is love your family/friends etc and enjoy everyday you have cos you don't know when it will be the last

 

[westeleven]

virtual pat on the back matey. at least you still give it some respect by remembering. not your fault at all but still upsetting.

 

[ColJack]

don't beat yourself up about it..
if you think about it logically then although only 5 mins away, there's walking time from carpark to er etc andodds are that the mother had been dead for at least 5 mins prior to the doctors telling the other daughter and then a delay from beig told to calling her sister..
plus if rushed into hospital then there would have been several minutes of CPR etc and no one should have to see their parent subjected to that..
so all in all, the odds are that the mother was already gone before she got the first call..

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

Fate often comes to haunt us, but what will be will be, we can't go thinking what if, as this could quite easily lead to other misfortunes.
A what if? could become an oh shyt!

 

[lifesagasman]

well, yes , i can rationalise it, but it doesn't help that i was there during both phone calls, so i know that events could have been altered.
it was one of those why me? why now? moments that you never, ever want or anticipate.

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

The thing is you can never anticipate this moments, and we can't all stay at home, just in case something happens around us elsewhere and effects others, that makes us feel guilty.
I'm not saying you should feel no guilt or a need to help, as that is a natural thing for normal honorable people to feel.
Did I just call you normal

 

[lifesagasman]

you called me honourable. that'll do!

 

[PrenticeBoyofDerry]

end of the day you can't beat yourself up about it, we all live a life of what ifs?
We've played them out, in the best way we thought at the time.
I've made mistakes but I've made more good calls and I can live with that.