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No.You've gone from being in a vessel capable of issuing a distress call to being a drowning person who is nearly dead and likely to die. Of course I'd pull you in. Last I checked none of these illegals attempt to swim the channel.
The point you are conveniently ignoring is these vessels set off from France is the same overloaded state when they arrive close to UK territorial waters. According to your definition of a vessel in distress, they can be boarded and "assisted" as soon as they depart.
I've exposed you as saying a boat is only in distress if it fires off flares or a radio call.
I wouldnt want you as the nearest boat to me.