The secret of a happy relationship is to have no secrets.
So you have told the entire internet and you haven't told her - you're going to be in big big trouble lad.So yesterday I had my yearly appraisal, it went very well with very little to complain about on both sides
Even better when they discussed the pay rise, which was rather quite significant and much more than I was even dreaming of, especially as there is no added responsibility.
The missus knows there was potentially a pay rise on the cards but a much lower value.
I have so far elected to say nothing, and told her it hasn't happened.
There is 2 reasons, I already pay for most things and still get complained to that things we agreed she would pay she doesn't want to. Last week I had to buy clothes for our son, not a problem but we worked the budget so that we use the child tax credits for that. And this week I asked for money out of the Xmas pot that I put most the money in for, we use the old savings account we had to save for our wedding and she has access to it.(to buy the wife the expensive gift she wants this year) and started getting the 3rd degree of where my money is, (I have it but im trying to save for a new garage door).
There is also talk from her that she wants to reduce her working hours or even give up work and advises I need to earn more money to enable this....
Question is, should I tell her or not?
The secret of a happy relationship is to have no secrets.
So you have told the entire internet and you haven't told her - you're going to be in big big trouble lad.
No, but we suspect you drive an sx turbo and live in EssexThe internet don't know who I am...
The forum haters will tell you to keep it a secret. It would however be sensible to tell her. It's a very odd relationship you have though.
I don’t think your relationship sounds odd. It’s sounds very similar to the relationships lots of my friends and their wives have.Yeah it maybe, there's alway more to it though and I've only mentioned the bad bits and they are likely one sided as to how im feeling at the point of time writing it.
On this particular subject I wondered what the consensus would be.
I like splitting the extra when you get a pay rise. Spend some, save some. That way you get to enjoy it but also feel virtuous.I have told her.
I knew I would deep down as I'm terrible at keeping secrets.
Laid some rules out though and have said the extra cash is going in savings
Your relationship should be based on trust, trust that you will also act reasonably with money
Got the wrong partner then.It can be hard to trust a partner to act reasonably with money when you know they aren’t.