Ever told someone to stuff their job?

[Donkmeister]

I've always had a somewhat tempestuous relationship with a particular colleague who's somewhat senior to me.

Recently, he's become more and more unreasonable to the point where I'm seriously considering calling it a day and moving on. Only problem is finding another job

Most people change jobs eventually, and whatever their reason for moving on, we seem to have a national culture of leaving quietly and graciously. I've only ever known one person who left a job in a complete rage, to the point that he was obliged to remain at Her Majesty's pleasure for several months.

I'd like to think that on my last day I'd publicly tell this bloke to go and *** a **** whilst he *****s a ***** so hard that the handle comes off and they have to fetch a trolley jack so they can reach in and get it out again. But, in reality I know I'd just ignore the guy as much as possible and slope off at my pre-allotted time so my first day at the new job doesn't involve explaining this new addition to my references.

Have you ever properly told someone to stick their job? Ever witnessed any leaving speeches that left the boss dumbstruck and looking sheepish?

 

[Norcon]

Have you ever properly told someone to stick their job?

I did it once and got an immediate apology.
Came close to it recently but stuck the job out as the employer was only temporary anyways.

Its better not to lose it and stay calm.
I go through what I want to say in my head, write it down and then just chill. The pressure's off.
All is cool again and I can absorb abuse like a sponge.
It makes the other guy frustrated I noticed.

 

[MisterG]

Hi

Fortunately I've never been in that position, though I often feel like jacking in the job.

Have you tried telling him how he comes across?

Sometimes people don't realise they are bullying their co-workers.

If that doesn't work, try his boss.

As jobs are a bit hard to come by just now, I'd try that first before jacking it in.

Also, you need to be careful how you do it, as presumably you'll need a reference for the next job.

Cheers

G

 

[Donkmeister]

Ah, unfortunately there is more to it (isn't there always!), an issue of sickness absence.

I have a longterm medical problem that causes me to have a couple of days off most months and has done for a few years now. The company doctor has been consulted and agrees with my GPs prognosis that there isn't anything that can be done and we just have to accommodate it. It's a fairly common, well-understood physical problem that has been diagnosed via scans (even showed the scans to this colleague!), so it's not even like it's something intangible.

My colleague's issue is with this level of absence as he feels it isn't fair that I get all this time off. I have tried explaining the condition and that I don't exactly enjoy the time off. As I am a desk jockey who can work anywhere with a broadband connection I have even applied for permission to work from home during these absences, he intervened and prevented that as he felt "it wouldn't be fair on his colleagues" (the same colleagues who's workloads increase when I'm absent!).

I've tried mentioning it to HR several times, who then give him a quiet talking to, he drops it for 2 or 3 months then the cycle continues Unfortunately he doesn't do quite enough for me to raise a formal grievance, he always apologises once confronted and he is more senior than me. Plus, whilst I am competent and proficient at my job, I wouldn't regard myself as shining brightly in my role!

So, I'm faced with a conundrum:

1) attempt to find a job elsewhere with my significantly-high sick leave record
2) stick it out and hope he leaves
3) start my own business, build it up then leave once it is established.

3 seems to be the way to go at the moment, I have spent the last few weeks writing down all ideas that come to me!

 

[kirkgas]

Donk, stick with the job IF YOU WANT TO, let your feelings be the deciding factor, if he is getting you down, as you say you speak to HR and things calm down, well if he starts on you one morning tell HR to deal with it in the afternoon as it is causing you stress, and you may have no option but to go off long term sick, and it will be his fault, dont let him dictate what you are going to do, and on a realistic negative note, re your sick record, if you got another interview that was a staff position which included full sick pay do you honestly think they would employ someone who needs 2 days off a month, your current employer has to put up with it, as you became sick while there so your T&C's cover it, a new employer wouldnt touch you with a barge pole, so get into the guy who is hassling you and get him sorted and stick with the current job

 

[joinerjohn]

One place I worked at, I'd arranged to go out for a meal (wedding anniversary) and right at 25 past four, on the day in question, I was asked to stay behind for well over 4 hrs. I told them I couldn't possibly stay that long as I had a table booked etc. The MD's wife (also a director told me I was expected to stay as long as they demanded). I stayed at work until six o clock then left.
Next day I was called into her office and she handed me a written warning. I asked her what she expected me to do with this letter. She told me I could do with it what I wanted so I ripped it up and asked her to put it in her bin.
Things were very tense for about a fortnight, when I landed another job.
I took great pleasure in handing my weeks notice to her personally. She asked me what I expected her to do with this. Unbelievable...... I told her to stick it where the sun don't shine. Fortunately, it went straight over her head.

 

[joinerjohn]

Donk, having read your later post about the situation, I'd have a word with HR and tell them your very unhappy with this persons continuing bullying (that's what it is mate). You have offered to work from home whilst your off and all you'd probably need is a VPN connection to the companies computer system. They must have logged all the times you have complained about this one person and so should have been in a position too have nipped this in the bud.
If it continues, you could possibly leave your job and claim constructive dismissal. The position was becoming untenable and you felt that no one was helping you in the continuing situation.
As you have a long term medical problem which both your doctor and the company doctor are aware of, the company are on very shaky ground, if this sad individual making your working life hell, isn't dealt with.

 

[LastMagicBean]

So, I'm faced with a conundrum:

1) attempt to find a job elsewhere with my significantly-high sick leave record
2) stick it out and hope he leaves
3) start my own business, build it up then leave once it is established.

3 seems to be the way to go at the moment, I have spent the last few weeks writing down all ideas that come to me!

4) Get your a*se in the car and go to work on a regular basis ...........

 

[WestmidsChippy]

Donk, having read your later post about the situation, I'd have a word with HR and tell them your very unhappy with this persons continuing bullying (that's what it is mate). You have offered to work from home whilst your off and all you'd probably need is a VPN connection to the companies computer system. They must have logged all the times you have complained about this one person and so should have been in a position too have nipped this in the bud.
If it continues, you could possibly leave your job and claim constructive dismissal. The position was becoming untenable and you felt that no one was helping you in the continuing situation.
As you have a long term medical problem which both your doctor and the company doctor are aware of, the company are on very shaky ground, if this sad individual making your working life hell, isn't dealt with.

Just when I thought you were decent you come out with that...

To the OP, get a back bone and tell the bloke giving you the grief to STFU/for HIM to find somewhere new/ or come onto a internet site and moan about a bully.

If you are in fear of a back lash, video tape it FFS!

 

[wreckedit]

As usual HR are happy talk about it and are hoping the problem will go away.Your only cause of action which you have been forced in to, is to write a letter of complaint to HR. Writing the complaint which is filed is far more effective.

 

[joe-90]

I don't understand why if you can sit and work at home you can't sit and work in the office. What's the difference?

 

[DIYDANDY]

I don't understand why if you can sit and work at home you can't sit and work in the office. What's the difference?

Mobility?

 

[joinerjohn]

Just when I thought you were decent you come out with that...

Why WestMids Chippy ?

How many times do we read in the papers about workplace bullying and nothing being done about it by HR/Personnel Dept/Bosses/Line Managers etc etc.
I was a victim of workplace bullying once. My gaffer even threatened me in front of the MD who did nothing. It's soul destroying when it happens.
Fortunately times have moved on from then and bullying in the workplace should now be a thing of the past. It's easy to write on an internet forum saying that he should be a man and stand up to the person doing the bullying. Not so easy in real life, when you have a management who don't even acknowledge the problem.
I hope I've given Donk some good advice.
Bullying in any form, should not be tolerated anywhere by anyone.

 

[tapir]

I don't understand why if you can sit and work at home you can't sit and work in the office. What's the difference?

Some people have debilitating illnesses that only affect them every now and then, and when the symptoms flare up, being at home is the best place (and sometimes the only option)

 

[gregers]

i know of someone who has recently written a letter to his on line manager about certain individuals who he feels are having a go at him,he kept it very polite etc and told the manager he didnt want it to go to hr yet,but if his concerns were not acted on then he will send it to the top boss etc.
on his letter he wrote at the bottom copies to

manager
other
collegue

this has now got them thinking as a few of the managers have been going round asking others who 'other' is? and who the COLLEGUE is?

1 of the responses to them was,well he does belong to a trade union and that got them quaking in there boots.

i think when it comes to constructive dismissal,the firm will no doubt be worried about reciveing bad press etc.

good luck pal,hang in there,the sod in question isnt worth losing sleep over and remember you have rights,which you might have to exercise just to prove to the prat he really is out of order.