I assume that your parents have died. Have you really no hope that theirg souls continue to exist?
Does 'hope' make for rational decisions?
I suspect that "hope" may be what makes humans unique and may well help to justify a belief of the existence of a god. I cannot emphasize enough, however, that this god has sod all to do with any man made religion. I believe that it is simultaneously rational and irrational for there to be a god, which is fair enough
but entirely irrational to assume that one has to jump through strange hoops and say weird sentences in order to have inner peace and external harmony. I don't think that a god really needs its ego massaged, and I really don't think that it would want any human to kill another human in its name. Somehow, I suspect that if "he" really did manage to create all of this, then he'd have found a better way.