my children, the oldest just turned nine, know what homosexuality means.
I dont think they know what sex is yet (intercourse) as we havent had any times where references have been made to it. (you know how kids usuually like let you know they have found something out that may be seen as rude etc)
I have to admit that I condition my children to the fact that my expectation is that they will be straight. This is not done with any motive either, it is simply habit because I am heterosexual.
I say comments like for instance... 'one day you might have a house of your own and you can come and visit with your wife and your own children.'
so, without always realising, I am always sending out messages that I expect them to grow up and get married and have a family.
It is quite refreshing though that at the moment, they seem to find the thought of any one kissing another in a 'romantic' way (man/man or man/woman or woman/woman) as something to wrinkle up their nose and cringe at.
They dont differentiate between straight and gay kisses, it is all just yukky to them at the moment.
They havent grasped the idea of fancying someone or romance!!
It is funny though how they will sometimes comment about tv programmes and ask if the character is gay or point out to us that the character is gay.
No big fuss is made by them or us but I guess the very fact that they point out the 'difference' means that already they are starting to seperate groups of people.
They have asked before if one of my friends is gay as she has a female flatmate.
Once when a female pal was leaving for hols they hugged and kissed me and said, love you.
The kids asked if I was a little bit lesbian and could you both and what were you if liked both and who decided who you would like.
I said I wasnt at all lesbian but that sometimes people like both.
It was difficult and so I just said that at some point in their lives they would start to want a friend that was special and different to their regular friends.
I said that when that happened they would just know who they liked, boys girls or both.
They coughed gasped, laughed and then pretended to be sick and said they were never kiss anyone like that!!!!
I also said, it didnt matter to mammy or daddy who ever they liked.
I think that attitudes are changing for the good.
This has made me think how you dont even have to use nasty words to make the concept of being gay seem somehow second best.
I am certainly going to try to be more aware of how I habitually condition my boys now. I know that it will make no difference to their sexual orientation but it will make a difference to how they feel about themselves.
I think I will always say things that make the assumption that they will be straight. I just must make sure that there is always that knowledge that it really and truly doesnt matter either way.
Much more importantly though... I want them to be happy and to feel secure in the knowledge that who ever they bring home man or woman, they will be made to feel welcome and never ever anything other than one hundred special.
As a mother it would break my heart if I thought that my sons ever went through anguish simply over their sexuality and how I would feel about them for it.